Miss America Crown Is Very Disappointed With Recent Changes
Though no one seems to care what a crown thinks anymore, but I am going to have my say. For years I‘ve helped young virginal women realize their fullest potential. Sitting upon the victorious (usually blond) head I‘d’take pride in the fact that she’d accomplished all we’d required of her; crushing her sisters through hard work and lucky genetics. Nothing could be more American.
It’s not easy being a woman-champion. How do we make them feel like winners when they are so inferior to their opposite sex? Women have also been far more vocal in their demands for “respect”. Back when the contest was pure, women were measured right there in front of the audience. We listened to criticism that the process was uncomfortable and settled for stating sizes as the girls walk out onto stage in front of thousands. Although those swimsuits always caught the girls who dared to let their waistline go above a size 6. If you want that scholarship money you have to workout for it, ladies. But not too much. Keep those arms lean.
Now women want to get college cash for just knowing things. What do they think they are, men? Those waves of feminism ruin everything. Why can’t they be happy letting those who know better tell them when they are beautiful enough for higher education? And if they happen to be smart, all the better! In fact most the girls who win are intelligent. They just have to be stunning, and fit, and perfect in every other way. Is this so much to ask? Boys don’t even get the chance to win scholarships for having a tight butt. They get judged solely on their grades. If anything I would say Miss America is sexist against men! Also, the male judges don’t want to look at the men in speedos. That would just be creepy!
