Kyrie Gray
Writer of humor, spooky things, and history. Subscribe to my newsletter, Guffaw for updates, musings and other fun stuff https://guffaw.substack.com/welcome

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It’s amazing what you can accomplish by getting up earlier

Good morning mortal.

Oh wait, you can’t hear me. You are still ensnared in that web of sleep. Dreaming dreams, instead of pursuing them.

I used to be you. I’d slumber until the last possible second every morning. I was deeply unhappy, as you are. I could never find the time to do anything I wanted. Then I read an article claiming all successful people get up early. I decided to give it a try.

Waking up at five in the morning changed my life. Suddenly I had energy that I’d never had before. …


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“True” facts about the kelpie

Like horses? Well, you won’t like this one. Mostly because it’s not really a horse. It’s a kelpie, a Scottish water spirit. It doesn’t want to trot across picturesque hills with you. It’s goal is to drown you, and everyone you love.

Kelpies lurk in the waters of Scotland, attempting to draw in the unwary. Their favorite victims are children. …


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The Best Scary Television, According to a ‘90s Kid

Today, if you miss an episode of your favorite show, you go online to stream it. Not so in the ‘90s: If you missed your chance to see that year’s Halloween special, you were out of luck for at least a year. Which is why October was the month I looked forward to the most. Every kid’s television show had their Halloween special. It was a welcome chance to experience terror in otherwise tame and humorous kid’s content. Like any child, I had my favorites.

The Wild Thornberries: Naimina Enkiyio

This one is at the top of my list because, even to this day, some of the imagery still gives me chills. The Wild Thornberrys featured a pair of documentarians and their children—one too cool for school, one who could talk to animals, and one who was raised by animals—who go on all sorts of adventures around the world. Eliza, the main character, makes rash decisions quite often. …

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