How to behave at a concert

because somehow no one knows

  • Don’t talk
  • Ever. Seriously don’t talk. If I’m sitting in the balcony in a theater and can hear you talking during a song that’s a fucking problem. This is not the lawn during a Dave Matthews show. Quiet down
  • Singing means talking. Don’t do that either. I’m not here to hear you, I’m here to hear the actual musicians
  • Stop yelling in the middle of quiet parts
  • Be mindful of the people around you. This is not a private event in your living room
  • No one wants to hear you shout a request (even if we agree)
  • Don’t talk SHUT YOUR MOUTH
  • Shhhhhh
  • Ok if you drink but it’s annoying when you’re drunk
  • The band does not care if it’s your birthday
  • You are the audience, you are not performing
  • Clapping is good
  • Yelling during applause is good
  • Call and response = cool
  • Jesus Christ, don’t lose your cool
  • Dancing is fine but no one wants to see you dance we want to see the musicians we paid to see so get out of the way with your skirt and your dreadlocks
  • Wear a jean jacket (pretty much mandatory)
  • Can someone write a set list and post it online? Anyone please I normally do but I forgot
  • Don’t climb on stage. Why are you sitting on the stage
  • If you’re tall, be spatially aware. Us shorties can’t see through your bodies or your heads
  • The musicians know their names. Don’t shout at them. They haven’t forgotten
  • Put your phone away it’s glowing
  • Stop taking shitty videos no one watches them on YouTube
  • That photo you took looks awful stop
  • No one owes you anything. Just enjoy the moment
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