Dear Lesbians and Gays — I’m Bisexual and You Treated Me Like Crap
Beth Sherouse, Ph.D.
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Unless you’re arguing your communities and healthcare providing services are largely homosexual, you being closeted from your healthcare providers isn’t because of homosexuals, you being closeted from your communties isn’t because of homosexuals. Nothing in the report you linked to says bisexual people are literally dying because of the neglect, erasure and exclusion they face from homosexuals. Making that claim is duplicitous at best, propaganda at worst.

Your “straight” female friend’s biphobia wasn’t because of homosexuals. Bisexual youths aren’t bullying and harassed by homosexuals. Their higher rates of suicide and lesser social support isn’t because of homosexuals. Bisexual women being raped, beaten or stalked by their intimate partners isn’t because of homosexuals unless you’re arguing bisexual women are largely in relationships with lesbians and lesbians do these things. Amber Heard was in an abusive relationship wth a straight man, statistically most bisexual women are in relationships with straight men, statistically most abusers are straight men and part of that straight cis world that’s so much better than homosexuals.

When you founded the lgBt organisation, when you took the HRC job to affect change from within, you weren’t fighting for us, you were fighting for you. You were fighting for bisexual visibility and bisexual rights. Whenever you fight with us, you fight for same sex rights, not altruistically for the right of lesbians and gays. You have a vested interest.

And as a woman you should know that you have to fight; that your rights are something you have to fight and win again and again. Cis white gay men didn’t exactly hand lesbians a place at the table least of all in the infancy of feminism. And as empty a feeling as it can be to be a woman and play nurturer and get nothing in return, in this specific case, if you’d just specified to all the homosexuals you were only helping to have that help reciprocated, you might not feel as let down.

tldr: And I’m sorry, I truly am, that you do feel let down. Life is tough enough already without being disappointed by the people whose love and acceptance you crave, and no one’s voice never should ever have to quaver over “bisexual”. So I know you will be better off away. And so will lesbians and gays. Doesn’t do us any favo to have bisexuals on our side who think we actively perpetuate the bisexual community’s oppression and hold us responsible for bisexual deaths.

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