Many seek to make sense of the spiritual nature of our existence, and how it relates to others. We are quick to turn to the written word of our ancestors, as their pools of knowledge, as curated over thousands of years into tomes that were copied enough times to warrant escape from entropy’s grasp. That is, we all hope that those ideas about what works are selected for, by virtue of their preservation as a function of their cherished nature, those copies of written text that speak to the soul of humanity. Regardless, the existence of these practices, new and ancient, may exist equally as a function of their need. In other words, healing arts can also exist because humanity has likely always had a deep and urgent need for intimate connection, and the solutions themselves are created to address those problems. It stands to reason, that the reason any healing art exists, is because of the natural proclivity for humans to feel broken, in mind, body, or spirit. The solution is created because the problem exists naturally, and to some degree, suggests that mankind is and always will be in some way, inherently flawed.
For better, and worse, the healing and care for other humans is its own gift, and it is complete and perfect the moment it is bestowed. That knowledge has no immediate need to be written down, because the gift is actualized between the practitioner and client in the moments it is bestowed. Those pure gifts are free of formalized explanation, and dismissed as part of a caring nature, where words often fail to capture exactly what it is to provide exclusive care for another.
Care and healing can only come from a place of excess. It can only begin when the practitioner themselves is in a self-actualized state where all of their needs are already met. Their bodies must be capable of rendering care, their minds must be free from worries or feelings of self doubt. Like a surgeon during operation, they must have every confidence that the care they render is impactful and useful. A caregiver must adapt to the situation by being attentive and mindful of the care they provide, adjusting as they go, yet confident in their approach.
The most valuable gift anyone can give to another is their attention and focus undivided. Focused attention sits at the balancing point between time, energy expended during the focus, and a selfless pure intent. So rare is this gift, that it is seldom ever given. With smart watches, beeps, and the constant vying for attention that we get from advertisements, billboards, promotions, doom scrolling and intrusive thoughts, it is difficult to be free of distraction that would otherwise split our focus. Indeed, entire industries have been created in order to capture your attention with sensationalist claims, emotionally twinged news, and high powered computer algorithms that are designed to increase your engagement. Care begins by intentionally setting these divisive things down, and the best forms of devotion begin before the practitioner and the client are even in the same space. It is said that the most zen experience in the world are those experiences that are singular in nature. That is, simple actions, performed for a specific intent in mind.
A prepared space that is isolated from those things that divide us is inherently important. The promise of an isolated space, where no thoughts of interrupting the peaceful ceremony is key. A prepared space feels welcoming, and shows the recipient that prior thought and focus went into the curation of space. As relaxation is as much about healing as any other form of care, disruptions must always be weighed against the value they take away.
Intimacy, in the form of knowledge, provides a reassuring sense that exudes confidence to the recipient. While worldly knowledge of care is always important, subject matter knowledge about the recipient is more impactful. Understanding the needs of the client, and the boundaries for the kinds of care that can be issued are two sides of the same client. Both parties may set their hard and fast rules about the kinds of care received and the kinds of care given, and coercion is never appropriate from either direction.
Grace is the mutual understanding that even the best intentions can lead to less than ideal care giving situations. It is the understanding that both recipient and care provider are in fact flawed human beings, that even when they are at their best, can not match up to others expectations that everything is perfect. Conversation offered in light spirited manner can be misinterpreted, because sometimes words don’t convey the correct meaning, or the timing of something innocent can mean something unrelated at another period of time. Grace is required by both practitioner and client, always.
Caring is an intrinsically creative process; it is not route application of skill, as no two clients are exactly alike, therefor, the process for care for them should not be the same either.
Trust in your skill as a healer; learn your own truth about the world. Compare your experience with the experiences from other walks of life. A healer’s path is one of a journey instead of a destination, and there is always room to grow. Understand that a healer’s touch is personal in nature, and can only be effectively utilized by the right kind of person. That is to say, even the best, most intuitive person in the world will not be able to heal everyone.
Take time to thank the healers in your life; they tend to be selfless people who give freely. Sometimes they come in unconventional forms: a friend who lends an ear, a teacher who spends extra time going over a concept, or from a stranger who offers useful yet selfless unsolicited advice.
