I recently had the privilege of listening to a week-long series of videos organized by Jon Gordon, called the “The Power of Positive”. Well-known athletes, coaches, authors, life coaches, ministers, etc provided their insight on positivity, teams, and leadership. What I gained from the Summit was invaluable to my life — especially the Power of Gratefulness.
Hope on the Horizon
How often we get bogged down with hopelessness, sadness, feeling sorry for ourselves, and a feeling of helplessness…. For myself, probably more times than I’d like to admit — especially as of late. But there is hope on the horizon when we take the time to be grateful for all of those things and people we have in our lives to make us grow and, as a result, make our our life experiences far richer than we could have imagined.
Taking Gifts & Blessings for Granted
Nataly Kogan’s video reminded me how we can take for granted the gifts and blessings we have in our lives. Yes, that is true, for indeed, after the initial “wow-ness” of the blessing fades, we fall back into our same mindset of negativity once more. We forget the blessing(s)…. We forget about the gift(s) that have been bestowed upon us. Our minds have adapted to the blessings. We’re on to the next “high” of “what’s next?”. Always looking for that next elusive moment when we’ll be happy.
“I’ll be happy when……”
How many times have we told ourselves, “I’ll be happy when….”.? I hear it from Steve quite often and find myself in that same boat from time time. “I’ll be happy when you retire”; “I’ll be happy when I get this project done.”; “I’ll be happy when I have more money.”; “I’ll be happy when the house is paid off”; the list goes on. You’ve been there, I’m sure. And yet — after that event (whatever it is) happens, many times we find that we are not as “happy” as we thought we’d be in that moment.
So, in the pursuit of “happiness”, I looked up “happiness” in the dictionary, and it is defined as “the state of being happy”.
So what does that mean, exactly, “the state of being happy”?
So I looked up the synonyms used to describe “happy” and they are: pleasure, contentment, satisfaction, cheerfulness, gaiety, joy, delight, etc.
Hmmm…..although I’d like to think that I am not morose all or the majority of the time, I don’t think I’d call myself gay — happy-go-lucky person. However, for the most part, I am content and mostly satisfied. Does that make me a “happy” person? No, not really…… . Not at least on my “feeling barometer”. So, the question is how do I get to happy, joyfulness, cheerfulness, delighting in everything I do?
Embracing Every Moment
It’s hard to think about embracing every moment when you have a spouse with dementia — and all you can think about is “Why? This isn’t what I had envisioned for my later years. I want to travel, I want to make plans, I want to laugh and remember funny experiences.” I want….. I want…. I rail against all those things that I think I have lost.
But embracing every moment is the key indeed to getting past my seemingly endless worries of the future — both for me and for Steve. For I find that I have gained more in blessings and gifts bestowed upon me than I have lost.
Gratitude Enters the Soul
In order for blessings and gifts to not end up in the forgotten pile of our lives, we must practice gratitude — every day. It must be a part of our lives so much so that no negativity can enter into our minds.
Remember I said above that I was content and mostly satisfied, but it didn’t “feel” good on the “feeling barometer”? That’s because I haven’t been actively practicing Gratitude.
Practicing Gratitude
The moment we begin to be grateful, the brain releases serotonin and dopamine — our “feel good” hormones. So, can you imagine the amount of the “feel good” hormones released when you begin to practice gratitude regularly?
It’s hard to have negative thoughts when you’re spouting all the things you have to be grateful for…. and there are many. Things you’ve long become insensitive to, things you’ve forgotten about, things you take for granted now because you’ve had them so long. They’ve become like a well-worn shoe — unnoticeable.
These are the steps suggested by Nataly Kogan to practicing Gratitude:
- Develop a grateful mindset — (focus on things that are special)
- Be very specific — (i.e. instead of, “I’m happy to be alive”, substitute for “I’m grateful for ….. (state why you are grateful)”
- Capture it — write it down, share with friends/family, take a photograph
- Tie it to something you already do.
Creating the Gratitude Habit — Challenge
So, even though I have practiced gratitude in the past and still do occasionally, I needed to find a way to make it a habit every day. I can use Nataly’s tool as a constant reminder that the blessing and gifts in my life were provided for a reason — and I must never forget them and be eternally grateful that they are, and continue to be, a huge part of my life.
Here are Nataly’s steps for creating the Habit of Gratitude. Before the first Email of the day — 1 minute every day for a week:
- Jot down three things you are grateful for — be specific
- Commit to doing three gratitudes every day for 7 days
- Check in with yourself after 1 week — What is your mindset? How is your stress? Are you more resilient?
“While it’s true that all of us will eventually die, I don’t believe it’s true that every one of us will REALLY live” — Jimmy Page
I don’t know about you, but I know I want to REALLY live life to its fullest. We are only only here on this great Earth one time and I want to make it count! I believe the only way we can truly live and be “happy” and “joyful” in this world is through Gratitude. We truly have so much to be grateful for and may those gifts and blessings bestowed upon us never be forgotten!
