10 Reasons Why the Morning after Your Memorial Day Party Can Be Disturbing

As told to me by a friend, of course…

Image by Author, depicting what may or may not be found in a certain room at Bonnywood Manor.

1. Who are all these strange people sleeping on your couches?

Granted, some of them look a little familiar, so they could actually be invited guests who decided they might not be in the best condition to get on the nation’s highways. But it’s hard to tell, surveying the aftermath. (Let’s face it. After several hours of drinking, and even more hours of your inebriated face mashed into couch leather that smells like not you, you’re not exactly ready for any type of beauty contest. People just don’t look as sexy as they thought they did at 2am in the morning, sucking on a cracked bottle of wine and doing a shimmy dance with a tiki torch they’ve named Beatrice.)

Of course, you could just poke one of the snoring droolers and then demand identification papers, but that might be going a bit too far. After all, these poor folk are going to have a hard enough time as it is by just waking up in a strange environment. All that confusion about things being in the wrong place, possible guilty feelings concerning slurred words they may have uttered after the fifth shot of tequila, and the growing realization that the bra they are now wearing is not their own.