Lahey – Medium

Lahey
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The Haven

The Cheapskate’s Guide to Affording Butt Implants

During the past decade, Kim Kardashian has inflated her behind to three times its normal, genetic size. As a result, women around the world…

2 min readMay 21, 2024

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The Cheapskate’s Guide to Affording Butt Implants

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Lahey
in
The Haven

Charles Manson Outraged About Trump’s 2016 Campaign to Build a Wall Between the U.S. and Mexico

Charles Manson, the notorious cult leader of “The Family” in Los Angeles, California, in the 1960s, was informed by a reporter visiting…

3 min readMay 17, 2024

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Charles Manson Outraged About Trump’s 2016 Campaign to Build a Wall Between the U.S. and Mexico

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Lahey
in
The Haven

National Survey on Sexual Health and Behavior Proves that Julia Roberts Film Pretty Woman Led to…

Ever since the 1990 release of the Julia Robert’s film “Pretty Woman,” a 30-year National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior in the U.S…

3 min readMay 17, 2024

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National Survey on Sexual Health and Behavior Proves that Julia Roberts Film Pretty Woman Led to…

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Lahey
in
The Haven

Couple Planning for Conjoined Triplets to Satisfy Society’s Gender Issues

Jamaal and Wanda Mangaroo, both 26, who live in some snooty upscale neighborhood in Jersey, would like to plan a family sometime in 2024…

3 min readApr 8, 2024

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Couple Planning for Conjoined Triplets to Satisfy Society’s Gender Issues

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Lahey
in
The Haven

Christiano Ronaldo Brains Kid With Football: Sharts in His Shorts from Laughing

Christiano Ronaldo was his usual fake self while warming up before a match with Atletico Madrid. A wayward kick of a soccer ball (not a…

4 min readMar 10, 2024

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Christiano Ronaldo Brains Kid With Football: Sharts in His Shorts from Laughing

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Lahey
in
The Haven

The Eulogy of Clarence Chad Chadwick, Persona Non Grata

It is with exceeding difficulty that I present to you, the congregation of three people and a groundhog that wandered in from outside, the…

3 min readMar 10, 2024

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The Eulogy of Clarence Chad Chadwick, Persona Non Grata

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Lahey
in
The Haven

Woman Accidentally Puts Diesel Fuel into Car and Re-Invents Space Travel

An idiot named Patsy Sheldon, age 48, of Toronto, Ontario, pulled up to a gas station and waited patiently for 25 minutes for a…

2 min readMar 6, 2024

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Lahey
in
The Haven

The Real Captain Phillips in Film “Captain Philips” Involved in Conspiracy with Somali Pirates

The commercially successful 2013 film Captain Phillips received widespread critical acclaim for its depiction of the Maersk Alabama…

3 min readFeb 12, 2024

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The Real Captain Phillips in Film “Captain Philips” Involved in Conspiracy with Somali Pirates

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Lahey
in
The Haven

Reality Show Completely Unrealistic

The new ABC reality show titled “Reality Bites” due to be released on Monday seems a bit unrealistic. The star of the show Lex Luthor who…

3 min readJan 14, 2024

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Lahey
in
The Haven

Mother of Teen Seeks Help After Seeing His Manifest Board

The Halfwit Herald News spoke to Mrs. Florence Dimwit on Monday night when she contacted police about her son Gregory’s manifest board. The…

3 min readJan 2, 2024

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Mother of Teen Seeks Help After Seeing His Manifest Board

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Lahey

Lahey

I'm a novice writer who wishes to make a career of writing for lit mags. I don't want money. I shall live off the fat of the land.

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