I sipped the Kanye Koolaid

This weekend, Kanye West opened up Pablo pop-up shops in more than a 21 locations around the world. As a native Detroiter, I’ve gotten used to exclusive things like this not coming to Michigan. But this time, Kanye shined an Ultra Light Beam on the D (I know, it was metro-Detroit) so I figured I HAD to go.

I, and many of my peers, have a love/hate relationship with Kanye West. As of late, it’s leaning a little heavier on the love side of things, as long as I ignore certain personal choices he has made and love him for who he is. The TLOP album was so refreshing for me, so I’ve been riding a Kanye wave for the past few months, and you know what he says, waves don’t die. LOL That was super corny, but I had to.

Anyway, despite having swollen eyebrows (another story, another time) and skipping out on the shower, I decided to head to the pop-up shop. I ignored my alarm a few times and arrived 10 minutes before it was set to open. It didn’t open on time. In fact, by the end of my ordeal, I had spent 4 hours waiting for the Pablo experience. Below, I’ll share with you what I observed over those 4 hours and how it distracted me from being the idiot I was in that moment.

1- Kanye Kids are Kool

Image: http://media.themalaymailonline.com/uploads/gallery/2016-08/2016-08-19T224243Z_964462118_D1BETWKLYXAA_RTRMADP_3_FASHION-KANYE-WEST-POP-UP-STORE.JPG

I’m on a roll with this korny stuff. Hahahaha anyway, all the hype surrounding Kanye West reminds me of Apple fanboys. You know, the ones that are the first to get each new Apple gadget, sleeping outside the store and are super devoted to the cause. That’s how the Kanye kids were. They had camp chairs too. They smiled while they were in line. They were all friends. It was so different from the Saturdays of my past, waiting at Footlocker for my fresh pair of Jays- I wasn’t scared I would get robbed and everybody was totally cool with waiting in line for 4 hours. Meanwhile I continuously sniffed my pits hoping my shower hadn’t worn off. These guys were NOT amateurs.

2- Rich, non-POC kids LOVE Kanye

Image: http://hollywoodlife.com/2015/02/01/kanye-west-disses-seahawks-fan-superbowl-selfie/

Or at least their bank accounts do. It’s clear that the kids in the suburbs are Kanye’s bread and butter. (Larger conversation here about hip-hop in general. Not enough time). As I waited, two sisters stood behind me and talked about their dad monitors their spending. Literally 20 minutes later, sister 1 asks sister 2, “So what’s your budget?”. Do you know what this girl said. $400 FREAKING DOLLARS. FOR PABLO MERCH. 4–0–0 FREAK-ING DOLLARS. I can’t tell you how many people walked out the store with the bomber and military jackets, a couple hundred dollars each. For PABLO on the back of a jacket. Must be nice, kids.

3- The Kanye Kids Come To Slay

Image: http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/09/cathy-horyn-kanye-west-dkny-proenza-michael-kors.html

They all looked like this. Okay not really but it felt like it. I should’ve counted how many pairs of Yeezys I saw while waiting in line. Skinny jeans. Other Pablo gear. Supreme hoodies. Other sh*t that I have no clue about. And of course, a proliferation of the GAWD AWFUL ripped tees. My personal prayer is that Kanye has a change of heart and cancels the whole “ripped tees being a thing” thing. Mind you, it’s 9 on a Friday Morning and people are decked out like we’re at the concert. I knew I would be looking crazy. But I didn’t give a damn and I’m sure it was clear that I wasn’t a part of the culture. LOL

4- I Have No Idea How Time Passed So Quickly

The plan was to run up to the mall. Check out the pop-up. Buy a little somethin-somethin and dip. No more than an hour and a half. Bruh- how was I in line for 4 hours with swollen eyelids? It was the investment and you can’t tell me it wasn’t by design. After I waited the first hour, I decided to wait a little while longer because they finally started letting people in. The line was moving. 2 hours in, I felt like I had to stay because I invested 2 hours. The last hour and a half was me convincing myself that I would only wait 20 more minutes and by that time, I was too close to leave. F*CK!

5- I WAITED 4 HOURS FOR A REGULAR A$$ TEE

Maybe I should’ve ironed it for yall.

Bruh. BRUH. BRUHHHHHHHHHH…. Why didn’t I ask to feel a tee when people came out of the store? Why didn’t I google it while I waited all that damn time. Why the fOCK did I pay $55 for a GILDAN white tee with some lyrics on the back. Me and my 2-year old niece could’ve made this sh*t on craft day! I could’ve bought this t-shirt 10 years ago at the Eastland kiosk selling the RIP tees. To make matters worse, I was embarrassed walking out the damn store with my 1 tee in this big a$$ Pablo bag when the white kids bags are stuffed with 5 different pieces. I folded my bag up and powerwalked out the exit. Nobody was about to tweet a picture of my poor and disappointed a$$.

So yes guys, my broke a$$ waited 4 hours to buy a glorified white tee. I did it for the culture.

Kanye, you’re a genius.

Image: http://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/kanye-west-shrinks-madison-square-garden

(In case you were wondering, the complete list of items available is below)