Perfect proportion of toxic and water- meet Keya Christiena Wilfred folks!

When all your hope is lost and you are ready to quit, you just need that one person to hurt your guts and tell you that its not too late to kick some ass. I am lucky to have a handful of people in my life who have always made me feel I want more from life than what I naturally get from it. What makes the person I am going to talk about in this article different from the others is the fact that when I first saw her, I was sure that we would never hit it off. But, as a matter of fact we actually did and the rest is history.

Keya has never made it easy for anyone. She has always made sure she got into the “badass” list of everyone she met (I can testify. Lol). She either becomes too sweet that you’ll start thinking she’s crazy or she’ll be a bitch to your face and intimidate you. She’ll give you chances to prove yourself to her but then tells you herself that she didn’t mean to do so.

On the first day of my college in Bangalore, when I stepped into the classroom, believe me I never saw the two missiles that was kept in store for me-Keya and Lalee. They walked in late and Keya here had a fuming expression that made me hate her for no apparent reason. “Such a bitch!” I thought. And a month after that a few of us hung out and it felt awesome to find some amazing people whom I still hold very close to my heart.

But Keya man! How wrong was I? She is someone whom I never thought would even be a part of my friend circle and here I am making plans with her to start café when we’re thirty. We gelled up so quickly that it is impossible to think of a day where I can’t pick up the phone and call her to talk something completely stupid.

I take pride in saying that our friendship was never smooth, in fact not at all smooth. It was filled with ups and downs just like the Bengaluru roads. But there was something that made our friendship a boomerang. With ego levels that matched the Pacific Ocean, I still have no idea how we got back after each fight that we have had.

I still remember that look on people’s face when they saw us fight. I am sure they might have thought this would be it, because never in the history have two bitches made up after a dirty argument. She is that person whom I would turn to when I am in deep sh*t, which means she would be more than happy to act as my lesbian friend if I am being hit on by a creep. Oh, the vice-versa might not happen because she handles the creeps in her life herself. I feel sorry for those guys whom she pushed into chronic existential crisis.

Keya’s a badass, yes, a badass worth crying for, a badass worth sacrificing your sleep for and most importantly a badass worth fighting for. Under that bitch face of hers is a heart that really cares. She’s got a brain that remembers every minute detail except the lyrics of a few chosen songs. She can survive days without eating but at the same time destroy the entire kitchen when she’s depressed. Never tell her that she’s wrong on her face because you are so dead. Just get her to understand your point after listening to hers. She brags about a lot of things but goes extra humble for a lot of other things. If you find her sitting jobless, believe me she’s planning on being hulk, just that hulk here gets hungry and not angry.

We plan trips that never happen and trips that might happen in a few months. We are completely shameless in gossiping about people for hours. Having stupid senseless conversations on phone comes so naturally to us that it is so weird if the conversation doesn’t cross an hour. I hate her when she shows attitude but feels so relieved when I bitch about her in front of her. She is a friend that you can count on. And yes, talking about trustworthiness, she has the passwords to my Gmail, Facebook, Medium and all other social media sites I am part of and did I mention that I am a social media addict?

But keeping all jokes apart she is truly a fixed deposit for life. She is the sister I don’t have and I will break your face if you break her heart. And after all this, you might be wondering why the hell I am writing about her, well today is her birthday. She’s family and turns 21 today.

Happy Birthday Keya. I love you and I hope you have a great year ahead with our whole gang in it to make it even better. Stay confused. Stay messy. Stay “K3ya Kenya.” I hope you enjoyed reading this and yes, you can kill me later. Xoxo.