While the institutions were voluntary (joining the army, attending college), the social engineering aspect of it was not (one had to take the room in the dorm, or get along with one’s platoon) As you describe, various economic and technological trends have undone that grudgingly social fabric making. Seems to me that any desire to resume social fabric making needs to bring back a discussion of individual choices and freedom vs social obligations — and that is a no-no is US culture, since, as you also point out, US equates freedom to individual choice. Just like everyone knows they need to eat vegetables, most won’t do so until they have to. Leaving vegetables to people’s choice only seems delusional. Similarly thinking that we are going to find ways for people to voluntarily seek and espouse diversity, which is harder, seems wishful.