Do You Work Over-time for Your Fears?
This is an intentional play on words. You could, literally, always be working overtime in your job because you have a fear of losing your job. Or, you could be a slave to your fears and working all of your fears overtime in every aspect of your life, not just business.
Fear is a distraction. It is not creative. It does not assist you to achieve or avoid — anything. All distractions stop you from connecting with that which lies underneath, usually your creativity and power.
It’s not about examining your past to understand what caused you to be this way. It’s about what you truly desire to create as your life and your business, and whether the choices you are making are contributing to that outcome.
What you can do about it?
Sounds simplistic, I know, but it really does start here. Whenever you catch yourself in your ‘fears’, which are not real (remember, they are only a distraction), mentally tell yourself to stop.
Again, simplistic yet highly effective. Deliberately and intentionally focusing on your breath reconnects you with your body. If you take a breath up from under your feet, to the top of your head, then release it back down to your feet; it reconnects you to the contributing energies of the Earth. It calms you and your body and enables you to refocus your attention and your energies on thoughts and actions that will more effectively create your desired outcome.
3. Ask questions
Ask, “What do I truly desire?” and “Are the choices I am making contributing to this outcome?” Note that you are not looking for answers when you ask these questions, because there may be more options available than the ones you are assuming. You want to remain open to the infinite possibilities. Asking from a place of curiosity and wonderment, rather than needing an answer or coming to a conclusion puts the energy of what you desire into the universe. In turn, it allows you to be aware of the many possibilities. Ask the question and see what ideas and information show up; then follow the energy of what gets you excited.
4. Make a choice
Now that you’ve stopped drowning in your fears, calmed yourself, and put the energy of what you truly desire out there, you need to take a step forward and make a decision. One thing to remember, no decision has to be set in stone. If you choose something and it is really not working for you or your business, then make another choice.
5. Don’t try to figure it out
Finally, I would just like to add, stay out of your head. We are taught to try and figure it all out, but all that does is keep it circulating in your head, over and over. It’s another distraction. If you catch yourself doing this, repeat the four steps above.
6. Putting it into action
Let’s take the example of someone working overtime, all the time, for fear of losing their job.
First, you need to get out of the fear cycle and it’s physiological effects. Then, you can ask creative, contributing questions, rather than fear inducing questions like ‘what if’ that just perpetuate the fear response in your mind and body.
Next, ask, “What do I truly desire?” While we are not asking the question to get answers, thoughts might immediately come to mind, such as “money”, “a job”, or “pay my bills.”
Notice how these are stress inducing. They are not creative ideas or solutions. They will not create anything other than more stress and fear. These are keeping you in the fear response and need to be cleared. You could imagine pressing the delete button on your computer, if it helps, but what’s important is that you don’t feed them by paying attention to them. Keep asking, “What do I truly desire?” to calm yourself and delete the fears. Make choices and notice what your choices create. Is that in line with what you truly desire? Do you need to ask more questions? Do you need to make different choices? Are you actually on the correct path and your ‘fears’ are cropping up to stop you from your creativity and ability to advance?
If you delete the ‘fears’, you might find that you actually enjoy what you are doing and don’t mind putting in overtime, or that the extra money is creating the life you desire. Maybe there needs to be a little tweaking in how many overtime hours you commit to better suit your needs. What are the possibilities? Can anything be done different? Who or what can you add to your life or your project to achieve this? With whom do you need to speak? These questions are generative and creative and lead to greater possibilities without inducing fear and stress.
If you remain in the question, you allow the universe to show you other possibilities; whereas remaining in fear constricts and limits you to only one way.
Originally published at www.advancingwomen.com in January 2017.