Sorry, Mom

Lalie N.
Lalie N.
Jul 10, 2017 · 2 min read

My parents got divorced when I was 5, my sister was 5 month-old. My mother left with my younger sister. My father, at that time, was always trying to prevent her from looking me, phoning me. She usually travelled more than 10km in the noon just to visit me stealthy. I and she usually met each in my school’s garden when the other students were going to bed. (in VietNam, students are allowed to sleep after lunch). Sometimes, a classmate of mine, who is a daughter of my father’s friend, saw this. She told her mother, and her mother told back to my father. More than one time, my father went red when he knew this story and scolded me. One time, he made me call my mother in order to say that I didn’t need her and she should never go and meet me. My mother and I cried a lot that night. I was impressed. We rarely saw each other, but neither she nor I gave up the hope of seeing each other. Luckily, we got over that time.

A few years later, exactly 5 years, things faded. My father allowed me to see her, sleep at her home, go and eat with her, let her be my confidant, and finally, my father talked with her, ate with her and became friend again with her. Things change. This time, I changed.

I sometimes scolded at my mother. At my 13th birthday, I sat silent in my party because we didn’t eat at the restaurant I liked. In the journeys we went together, I usually showed out my vexation with her for no reasons. I was irritated at her because of the other people’s fault. Even though that was not my intention, I hurt her a lot, for sure. But she always forgives me, never complains, never shows her anger towards my attitude. When I got accepted to High school for the gifted, she was happy but never show her over-expected feelings to me. High school is tough, but High school for the Gifted is even tougher. I got lost. But she always encouraged me, showed me solutions, helped me. She guided me to the bright way. She was always generous. She was my source of inspiration. She made me feel peaceful inside. I love her.

Last night I complained a lot about nothing and again, I was irritated. But then she went on holding my hands, saw me off at 11pm, asked me to call her when I safely arrived home.

Since unsaid words left me scars and hurt, I thought I should say something to my mom. I wondered myself why I went red easily with their beloved one, but always smiled and treated nicely with people who never deserved it. Am I so stupid? My mother had never deserved my bad attitude. She sacrificed so much.

Even though she may not see those words, I hope that she would know I love her so much.

“Mom, I love you.”

Lalie N.

Lalie N.

Be beautiful, smart and elegant

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