Justin Lamb

UCB Performer. Extra pickles please.


A Very Particular Set of Skills


You would probably get a couple of different answers if you were to ask people “What is the unifying theme of Jason Statham’s movies?”
People might say…


Blood Leverage

Dr. Landon Marks rapped his knuckles on top of the dialysis machine. He had noticed that Tracy hadn’t taken her eyes off of it since he started asking about her medical history.


Thou Shall Not Complain About Free Food


Those sandwiches were awful!”

Well this isn’t Jean Georges, it’s an office, so who cares. Unless you write the Michelin guide…


Embrace Insignificance


When held up against the total number of people that have, do presently, and will live on this planet and all of their aggregate accomplishments you matter very little…

Publications edited by Justin Lamb

Thou shall read these and learn how to behave in an office.

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Blood Leverage

Thou Shall Not Panic


Do you work at a top secret government zombie lab? Did the zombies get out? Unless you answered yes, calm down.

Relax. It will all be ok.


Should vs. Does


The thief got away with it.

The company that screwed over the small town went bankrupt.


Thou Shall Not “You Seen”


You tried an extension, a cell phone, an email, an IM and still no answer from Doug. The game is afoot!


Thou Shall Let Gwen Do Her Job


“Look! I have one job on this lousy ship. It's stupid, but I'm gonna do it! Okay?" -Gwen DeMarco, Galaxy Quest


Thou Shall Not Run


Do you work in an emergency room? Is the building on fire?

Unless you answered yes, don’t run in the office. Nothing is that important.

You look crazy.


Thou Shall Not Middleman


“Can you send Nate an email for me?” is what you say.

But what you mean is “Can you do this thing I don’t want to do, but be sure to do it the way


Thou Shall Not Play Dumb


“We really need to get this package to Denver tomorrow? Oh my gosh, What are we gonna do?”