Naps; I Love You.
Legend has it that if you walk to a beautiful meadow in the mountains and take a nap you’ll wake long after all your problems can bother you and be a new person. Ok that’s a lie. That’s basically a loose interpretation of the tale of Rip Van Winkle. Shout out Washington Irving.
But honestly naps are the cure for everything. You’re tired and you have plans later; take a nap. You’re heart broken after a breakup; cry in the shower, then take a nap. You feel like life is about to break you; take a nap. Allergies got you fucked up out here; take a nap. You’re hungry and don’t want to spoil you’re dinner; actually just grow the fuck up and eat both or show some self restraint by taking a nap. You need inspiration; light up and take a nap.
Taking a nap is never the wrong answer either. Let’s say you’re significant other wants you to do something you really not feeling. You time your nap perfectly you’ll sleep right through those awful plans of theirs. Or let’s say you got important stuff to finish for work that you really not trying to do. Procrastinate with a nap. Some would say that’s all really questionable advice, but I guarantee you those naps going to be fire just off the thrill of taking them.
Here are some little known facts about naps:
• Naps are natural stress relievers
• Naps will lower your cholesterol level and lower your risk for cardiovascular diseases
• Naps are an introvert’s best friend
• Naps will keep you looking younger by diminishing the dark circles and bags under your eyes
• A nap a day for 2 weeks has been proven to add 30 days to your life
• Napping with your significant other creates a better emotional, physical, mental, and social connection with them
• Reading to your napping child on a regular basis, during the formative years, will increase their reading comprehension level by 2 whole grade levels
• Naps help restore your body’s ph level to its natural balance
• Naps help your body recover after any and all types of legal and illegal activities
• Crying yourself into a nap will give you a strength unknown to man and give the tears special powers to rejuvenate & restore your facial tissue
• In certain cases, napping in the fetal position will help you resolve any lingering childhood issues
• Napping on a regular basis/schedule will help you find inner peace
• Naps can either save or ruin a life. This is dependent on perspective and if the naps are. in the right or wrong hands, but mainly perspective
Now none of those facts are researched, studied, scientifically studied, or true in any way, in fact I just woke up from a nap myself. But that nap gave me the strength, inspiration, creativity, and some might say the stupidity to make those facts up and write this; another little known fact.
So go forth my brothers and sisters and nap. Nap in delight and without regret for naps are free and open to all. And when in doubt nap it out, because naps are for the soul.
*Self proclaimed nap connoisseur. 2008 Nap Newcomer of the Year. 2012 Alternative Napper of the Year. 2013 Quarter Life Crisis Napper of the Year. 2015 Weld County Napper of the Century. Currently working on his self published never to be released books, Nap Etiquette for the Serious Napper and Lame’s Memoirs: How Naps Saved and Ruined My Life.