Dominatrix Claims ‘Fifty Shades Darker Is Pathetic And Disturbing’

“I found Fifty Shades Darker to be a pathetic and disturbing portrayal of what, in a real-life BDSM relationship, would have been a caring, intimate relationship between Dominant and submissive partners.”

Pixabay

At first glance, BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, & Masochism) may seem like an abusive practice carried out only between heartless, psychologically disturbed sadists and victims with low self-worth. Appearances, however, are often misleading, and with BDSM, this misunderstanding is especially profound, as is obvious in the new movie release, Fifty Shades Darker, an erotic romance film.

In a typical romance novel or movie, the formula goes something like this:

  1. Man and woman meet.
  2. Man or woman has an internal and external conflict that needs fixing.
  3. The other partner helps to fix the problem.
  4. Man and woman live happily ever after.

Fifty Shades Darker follows this formula to the letter, and here’s the problem with that (other than the fact that it’s just bad movie writing): BDSM is a healthy practice for safe, consenting, and sane adults. No one needs fixing.

As a professional dominatrix, I am constantly working to be more loving, compassionate, and respectful toward my subs, not manipulative or abusive.

A study conducted by the The Journal of Sexual Medicine found favorable results in the psychological characteristics of BDSM practitioners. Most people who practice BDSM are not neurotic, sadistic adults who have been profoundly abused and neglected as children, like Christian Grey, nor are they submissive Anastasia Steels, barely more than walking zombies when it comes to their dominant partners.

In fact, the study found that “BDSM practitioners were less neurotic, more extraverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less rejection sensitive, had higher subjective well-being, yet were less agreeable.”

For these reasons (and for its boring vanilla BDSM sex scenes), I found Fifty Shades Darker to be a pathetic and disturbing portrayal of what, in a real-life BDSM relationship, would have been a caring, intimate relationship between Dominant and submissive partners.

Sandra is an expert in personal and professional reinvention, authentic living, communication, and bridging the gap between sexuality and a lifestyle that focuses on holistic health of the mind, body and spirit. She is the CEO of Attainment Studios, a sex positive business directory website designed to bring together members of the sex-positive community, and for finding solutions for your professional and personal needs. Her recent book Switch: Time for a Change, is a memoir of her journey from holistic practitioner to professional dominatrix at 55-years-old after losing everything, and her passion and purpose is to empower others towards healthy authentic living. To learn more about Sandra and receive your FREE eBook “5 Steps for Better Communication, Sex, and Happiness (Did I mention better sex?) visit http://sandralamorgese.com/


Originally published at www.huffingtonpost.com on February 21, 2017.