On the Heels of Gratitude
2009. 2015. 2019. 2021. My first Panic Attack. My first Mental Breakdown. My last Breakdown without a solution. My last Attack without a solution.
I’m not about to tell you Gratitude is my solution. It’s not.
Solutions vary. They’re rarely the same.
I’ve become equipped to problem solve for the best or new solutions every time I’m not okay. And this is okay.
But Gratitude, like a bow on a present, ties the gifts of community, health care, self care, better work environments, and everything else all together nicely.
Gratitude is a little different than Thankfulness.
I like to think I’ve always been thankful.
Having Gratitude is acting on Thankfulness.
I’m not sure I’ve always put being thankful in action.
I noticed my actions changing when I decided to Choose Joy in 2019.
As the break was creeping in, when I knew I was about to lose so much hope and control, I decided deliberately choosing to experience positivity and share positivity was part of my solution.
I got the words Choose Joy tattoo’d on my forearm so I couldn’t forget my new motivation. My last sliver of hope was this change would become permanent.
Joy was essential when the pandemic started.
Joy was essential when the pandemic continued.
Joy has been essential as the pandemic has eased up.
Thankfulness came with Joy, and Joy with Thankfulness inspired Gratitude.
Gratitude has been essential as the pandemic has eased up.
Gratitude is essential as my personal and work life continues.
Gratitude is essential as my life is just getting started.
My personal life and work have different relational dynamics, different objectives, and different outcomes. Some seperate from each other. Some mixed together. All of them dependent on my head and my heart.
When I say Gratitude holds all of my shit together — When I say Gratitude is the best motivation I have for work and relationships —
I’m saying showing people I’m thankful with a conscious effort through my actions and through my words makes everything I offer exponentially better than it would be otherwise.
People are pretty good at catching bullshit, too.
If Gratitude isn’t genuine, it doesn’t get far too long.
Now, at my lowest and my highest, Gratitude is a habit with an impact.
Gratitude is my North Star.
Gratitude is an anchor.
Gratitude saves me.
In everything I do, by choosing Joy, I’m on the heels of Gratitude.