A Wrong Obituary That Led to a Powerful Legacy

The Butterfly Effect was initially laughed at as a crazy theory. But the premise behind the concept is really quite interesting. Does something that happens today have the ability to impact areas far from you and many years removed from the date of that thing that happened or a particular decision you made?

If you’re a parent, you know your decisions today will impact your kids almost immediately. But is it possible for today’s decisions to also have the potential to impact people groups you’ve never met and in future generations, whether related to you or not? Yes, absolutely! Welcome to a quick example of the impact of a powerful, multi-generation legacy.

For most of us, regardless of our age, there is likely plenty of life remaining to begin doing something today that can make a multi-generational impact. In fact, even if you’ve done nothing intentional or worse yet, you have made an incredible mess of your current life’s message, you can change that beginning today! Without a doubt, a simple but intentional change today could possibly even have a multi-generational, global impact with your descendants. The simplest change starts with a new, fresh awareness of what you want. The adage, “It doesn’t matter until it matters to me” are at play. Everything starts with a new awareness.

Want an example of an abrupt and lasting change? In 1888, there were two brothers, Alfred and Ludvig, and when Ludvig passed away, Alfred made some life altering decisions. When Ludvig passed away, the journalist writing the obituary for his paper mistakenly wrote it as if it was Alfred who had died. The journalist stated that the “Merchant of Death” had finally passed away. He went on to write that Alfred had gotten rich from his ability to “mutilate and kill” vast amounts of people at once. You see, Alfred was a war-time explosive munitions expert and became known as “the dynamite king”. This made him widely known, greatly feared and very wealthy.

As Alfred read the obituary about himself, he apparently had an epiphany of how he would be remembered and he didn’t like it. He decided to make immediate changes so that when he finally did pass away, the words written about him would be vastly different. He supposedly rewrote his will to leave most of his vast wealth, $265M in today’s dollars, to a variety of causes so that no one would be able to cast negative aspersions on his name. His name? Alfred Nobel….of what became known as the “Nobel Peace Prize”.

This little bit of history supports the old saying, “It doesn’t matter until it matters to me.” Alfred knew all along what he was doing and that a vast number of lives were lost because of his unique set of skills. It wasn’t until it literally hit him in the face by him reading his ill-timed obituary that it truly mattered to him.. Something clicked and he immediately became intentional to change how he was going to be remembered. Some would say his wake-up call was purely selfish. Ok, maybe it was. But his selfishness had a worldwide, multi-generational impact for the good of humanity.

What would it be like if you were to pick up the obituary section, or log into it, for your area and read YOUR NAME as recently deceased? What would it say about how you lived your life? Are you pleased with how your life was described? If yes, congratulations! If not, what are going to do about it?

Have you ever sat down and written out your own eulogy or obituary? Some think it might be a bit too morbid to do so. I, however, see it as a tool to help clarify how you want to be remembered, if remembered at all. This exercise literally allows you to go out into the future 20, 40 or 70 years and dream about all that you will be able to accomplish during that time. If you think through this exercise deeply and detailed enough, it can impact you at an emotional level so that you can change the trajectory of your life. Recall the story of how the Nobel prize came about? While he didn’t intentionally sit down and write out his own eulogy, he was privileged to have someone do it on his behalf and it changed everything for him.

I’d really like to encourage you to give this exercise a go. So, how about a little help in completing this obituary writing exercise? First either get out a sheet of paper and grab a pen, or open up your computer or tablet and prepare to get honest with yourself on how you would like your life to be remembered or the organizations you want to build or the people you really want to have a lasting impact with. At this stage, it’s only for you, no one else will see it. So, get ready to dream big. Carve out some quiet time to get really clear on what you want to be said when you’re gone. It is this level of clarity that will allow you to begin the intentional road to legacy building.

To get started, think about what you would LIKE to be said at your funeral. For today, let’s not worry whether those statements are true at this time or not. This exercise is akin to starting with the end in mind. It allows you to reverse engineer how to make it happen…after you are clear on what “the end” could and should look like.

I’m sure you’ve been to a funeral before, but still, I’ll share a few questions below to help get your thoughts going:

• What is your full name (see, we’re starting off really, really easy)?
• How many years did you live?
• What do you want to be known for (personally and/or professionally)?
• What will your loved ones say on your behalf?
• What do your closest friends recall as some of your finest qualities?

Answering the above questions will take you anywhere from 5–30 minutes. Remember, what you come up with during this exercise will be the foundation you can begin “living into” immediately. Listen, if you take this exercise seriously, you will likely feel a real emotion welling up inside of you as you are writing down your answers. Secondly, when you have clarity AND emotion, something happens to you at a subconscious level. Without cognitively focusing on your daily decisions, your subconscious person will begin to make decisions that actually align with actions and behaviors consistent with becoming that person you just wrote about.

From here, you simply take the answers to the above questions and begin to put them in paragraph form. To help create the picture for you, I created a hypothetical sample of answering the questions AND then will put it into paragraph form to give you a more visual track to run on.

Here you go:

• What is your full name (see, we’re starting off easy)? Jane Nicole Doe
• How many years did you live? 93
• What do you want to be known for (personal, professional, philanthropic)? Jane was the youngest of X children. Jane was married for 72 years when her husband, Jacob, passed away two years ago. Jane is survived by xxxxx. Jane had a real passion for singing, the opera and bringing joy to others, especially children.
• What will your loved ones say on your behalf? Loving, kind, giving, generous, gifted
• What do your closest friends recall as some of your finest qualities? I knew Jane for nearly 50 years. And during that time, I knew her to be….

I will skip the obligatory statement of who predeceased whom, who was left behind and just get to the “creative” life encouraging portion.

Jane accomplished so very much in her 93 years on this earth. Spending 72 of those years in marriage is only part of her amazing story. Jane was the most gentle soul, the kindest woman who ever lived. Jane made friends and helped people every opportunity she had. She led a truly heroic, unique and joy-filled life.

Jane studied music, singing and opera at the “XYZ Conservatory in” Anytown, USA. She became one of the few singers alive to master the old knowledge of the “Bologna School” singing technique which allowed her to be heard with her natural voice over the orchestra without a microphone.

For over 40 years, she also performed as a clown for many charity events, including her local Ronald McDonald House for terminally ill children. She felt bringing joy and laughter to children was one of creations greatest healing resources. The children and parents loved her dedication beyond words. Jane was a firm believer of giving of one’s time, talent and resources to the good of others.

In her latter years, Jane turned to writing, with a passionate desire to share her heart and accumulated experiences for the good of others. Her life is truly inspiring. Jane’s passion for life and intentional desire to leave a lasting legacy is an inspiration to us all and will be deeply missed.

Or here is another option for creating your final story. A local Business Journal ran an article a few years ago that shared how writing your own eulogy can have a profound effect on how you live your life moving forward. They broke it down into three simple steps:

Step 1: Write the eulogy of the life you have already lived.

Step 2: Write the eulogy of the life you would have loved to live, the one that fulfills all of your goals and dreams coming true.

Step 3: Compare the two and write about which inspires you more.

This is a very simple, yet a very awakening exercise. You will never be able to address what you are not aware of. When focusing on your legacy, you will not be able to impact the trajectory of your life until you take inventory or where you are right now. This is one of those exercises that is a total win/win. If by chance, your current life story is perfect and it cannot get any better, the eulogy of the life you’ve already lived is exactly the way you want it to be, this exercise will be a confirmation you’re doing everything right. However, if your current eulogy of your life to date falls a little short of your ideal message, NOW you can identify it and begin making little changes here and there.

Recall what happened to Alfred Nobel after he read his obituary. It was a wake up call to begin intentionally shaping how he wanted to be remembered. This isn’t some narcissistic, ego-enhancing exercise. This is simply getting really clear on the life you want to live. When you become clear on what you really want for your legacy and why, your choices and behavior begin to also fall in line with the actions and decisions required to attain the desired outcome.

It’s very interesting because once you get really clear on what you want, there is an internal change that takes place within you. The clarity that you have on the inside begins to show up on the outside through the action you choose to make as well as the actions you choose NOT to make. Use this eulogy exercise to gain a clearer picture of where you are today, as well as a reference point of whether anything should change to create the legacy you desire.

It is at this point I offer you an opportunity to become highly intentional about creating the legacy of your wildest dreams and quite literally, changing the trajectory of your family name. It was Benjamin Franklin that said, “To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions”.

Are you familiar with the phrase “Call to Action”? Simply put, it’s encouraging someone to make a decision to do something differently than before the call to action (also known as the CTA) was issued. Oftentimes, the CTA is associated with a big discount if you “buy now”. Other times, the CTA is associated with the fear of missing out (FOMO)…act fast before the offer is gone. My call to action is to take what you’ve learned in this article and utilize one of the two examples for creating your ideal eulogy to create lasting change.

*Much of the above are excerpts from my upcoming book, “The Legacy Navigator” (Q1 2024) Within that book will be a host of additional exercises and free resources to clearly identify and implement your ideal legacy through the effective development and transfer of your family Vision, Values, Knowledge and Wealth. For advance notice of the book, coaching or speaking inquiries, please go to thelancewelch.com