8 points to dealing with a mormon faith crisis

Disturbing trend of Mormon attrition from 1975–2014 averaging 35,000 to 75,000 per year.

If like many LDS members you’ve begun to learn that contrary to what you learned in seminary or on your mission, church history is complicated and even disturbing, I offer the following advice from someone who’s researched and read it all and still stayed an active Mormon. Whether it be Joseph’s Polygamy his civil trials or angels with flaming swords, peep stone channeling, inconsistent prophetic edicts or Book of Mormon anachronisms I suggest that in your search for truth you keep the following things in mind, so your new found knowledge doesn’t imbalance you or ruin your religiosity, spirituality or social support structure. Mormonism has a lot to offer, and a tremendous amount of truth, and I hope these suggestions will help to assuage the increasing inactivity and attrition caused by these issues.

1. Compare it adolescence and the process of growing up.

If you are questioning your faith, congratulations, you’re growing up! Faith is designed to be questioned, that’s the only way to progress faith into knowledge… and it is knowledge that “saves us”, not faith! Faith is a belief and trust in things you hope for, and serves as a launch pad for inquiry which leads to knowledge. Those who simply accept the worldview handed to them by their church or culture or nation, will never gain knowledge, you must question and prove your faith for it to blossom into knowledge.

I think it helps to look at faith like a cultural hypothesis– and as we individually and collectively question it leads to theories and finally proofs. As Mormon’s individually and collectively question our faith (or cultural & scriptural hypotheses) we will over time discover what parts of our faith are true and what parts are misunderstandings, hyperbole or cultural myths. I consider this process the ‘trial of faith’ spoken of in Ether 12:6.

I believe that the common occurrence of seriously questioning your testimony or religious faith is part of growing up and remarkably similar to the adolescent stage of life. Children grow up seeing their world as an extension of their parents. Their parents worldview is all they know and defines their reality while young. Sooner or later, every child must learn that there is a greater reality existing outside of their home. For most people, learning of, and transitioning into this larger context is done slowly and gently. But for some, who grow up in isolation or repression, the experience can come as an abrupt shock.

In a religious context, learning about the fallible aspects of religion is like a kid who reaches adolescence and realizes their parents were not necessarily the smartest ones on the block, and that their methods of discipline and morality were not the absolute law after all. For some, this very realization causes a falling out with their parents; which is especially probable if the parents were knowingly or unknowingly controlling or manipulative. Since the less loved, valued and free a child feels in his pre-adolescent environment, the less likely he will want to stick around in it when he learns of other options.

This process could also be compared to the marriage relationship. With time, we often learn after we are married that our spouse isn’t all they made themselves out to be, and conversely they learn that we are not exactly what they thought we were. How each person involved in these situations reacts to reality, is going to largely determine the quality of their lives. So my advice is recognize the similarities in these events, have a positive attitude and follow the path that makes everyone the happiest.

2. Make a goal of objectivity, unconditional love and unity.

In my experience, one of the most difficult aspects of an LDS faith crisis has to do with the ways that prideful or unloving judgements we have formed about others end up coming back on ourselves. Perhaps we have seen Warren Jeffs or other modern polygamists as bad… so realizing that Joseph Smith or Brigham Young were similar is difficult for us. Perhaps we have looked at other faiths as “false religion”, so learning that our church suffers from the same types of inconsistent doctrine or unworkable truth claims can be really upsetting (since now you might feel like your religion is ‘false’). Perhaps you idolized church leaders and gave them too much power over your world-view, so now when you find how contradictory their statements can be it angers you. My advice is the same as might be appropriate for an adolescent teen learning of the parents foibles… don’t demonize them–use this as an opportunity to learn unconditional love of all people, religions and cultures. And perhaps gently press for reform, where needed.

Realize that most people in this world believe what they want to believe based on their goals. Most Mormons have no clue concerning the ugly aspects of church history which are not part of the official church narrative, and just as few have actually read the entire scriptural canon. Consider that this might be an intelligent subconscious choice on their part!. Most people don’t care as much about “truth” as they do about just being happy, and religion to them is a tool they use to maintain social and psychological balance. Most try not to think about troubling aspects of history, doctrine or conflicted theology. I suggest that people who begin to explore these things or question their faith keep this in mind and start by being founded on a goal of happiness, unity unconditional love. I also suggest they respect the fact that most people in the church don’t care about ‘the truth’ per-se and are just using the church for the good it has to offer. Just like in marriage or family, if you start your journey of truth exploration on a foundational goal of staying unified with those around you, and unconditionally loving people regardless of their beliefs or actions, you may escape a lot of the heartache and social divorce that often results in a faith crisis. If your research leads you to the conclusion that Joseph Smith and Brigham Young were hardly different than Warren Jeffs and his father, what are you going to do about it? Look for the good in all people, and lovingly let go of your idyllic notions that these religious icons were godlike or even ‘good’ according to current LDS moral standards. Learn to love them and everyone else unconditionally. And respect the fact that it’s human nature to idolize cultural role models. Just like maturing past those notions you held of your parents when you were little, you can break free of the physiological programming from your church and culture without demonizing that control. If your inquiry scares and polarizes others at church, be understanding and work to minimize its impacts on your friendships. The more understanding and loving you are of others as you see past the smoke and mirrors, the less you will create a fearful or hateful response in those you associate with.

Judge each person and church by this rule- Do they benefit society, do they benefit me, do they have good intentions, do they do more good than harm?

3. Understand that Christian Scripture, and the LDS/Masonic Temple Ceremony has hidden the truth (or mysteries) in plain view.

I suggest you read Ecclesiastes (in a modern translation), the story of Stephen in Acts, and browse through morals and dogma by Robert Pike (a handbook of masonic ritual and teaching. see this summary). If you do this, it won’t take long to see how many answers concerning truth claims were hidden in plain site the whole time. In will help you maintain faith in a higher power, even as it tends to break down faith in those who claim exclusive knowledge or access to the Creator. You’ll see how when Stephen and Paul speak of “temples made with human hands” they are referring to predominantly human aspects of organized religions. When stephen says,

David found favor with God and asked for the privilege of building a permanent Temple for the God of Jacob… However, the Most High doesn’t live in temples made by human hands. As the prophet says “Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. Could you build me a temple as good as that?” (acts 7:46–50)

He is saying that Judaism was largely a human construct, and this is why the orthodox Jews killed him. The same truths are taught in Masonry and the Mormon temple ceremony. In the creation drama, the archetypical Father and Son put man on earth to evolve and learn from personal experience and experimentation. “Lucifer” (light bringer in latin), as the archetypical teacher & preacher and self proclaimed god of this world, gives mankind second-hand knowledge gained from the experiments of other spheres. In his quest to make man wise through knowledge gained without personal experience mankind falls from his unity with God, the cosmos and the divinity within (see this article for a summary of the ancient cosmological view of God). Lucifer creates religion to give humanity the polarized fruit of the “knowledge of good and evil”. This religious law and theology [torah] estranges man from God or “worketh death” (Romans 3:9–23, etc), as men are told they are naked (sinful) and should thus hide from God. The wise do not believe what is taught, but rely on personal inspiration and personal experience as counseled in the beginning.

If you look carefully at the Mormon temple ceremony, the masonic teachings which they are closely related to, or the symbolism hidden in Christianity, and every global religion, you will see messages specifically hidden by intelligent minds from the uncaring masses and intended for you, the truth seeker! These messages point to the true nature of intelligence in the universe and to the existence of a “lower law” which is completely fallible and used simply to bring order and pseudo-knowledge to the masses. Finding these hidden teachings and understanding their meanings will bring you through a faith crisis with a deeper more meaningful spirituality and minimal fear or pain.

Like Joseph Smith and Brigham Young, explore the mysticism teachings such as gnosticism, kabbalism, sufism, Oahspe and the Law of One, and a modern translation of the Bible and you will begin to see a more intelligent spiritual worldview which suggests that all religion (including Mormonism) are schoolmasters designed to create a polarized environment which motivates seeking, goal attainment, and progression of human intelligence. Mormonism, like most of Christianity does a good job at what it is designed to do. So as one learns to become their own man and not be ruled by its tenets, there is no need to demonize it or rebel against it. Even if you end up getting excommunicated from organized religion, it is still unwise to hold ill feelings–because the feelings you put out always have a way of coming back to you. Better yet, learn to practice the religion of good works within Mormonism. Don’t reveal your special signs and tokens of the higher law (your new knowledge), and you won’t suffer the ostracism that is typical of a truth seeking non-conformist (symbolized by the old masonic penalties).

4. See the polarized spectrum and don’t take sides. Ask the RIGHT questions.

Religion is designed to polarized people… it tries to force you to take sides. It turns everything into black and white and tries to persuade you to be either in or out, “hot or cold”. But just like the polarization of politics most people who are sucked into this system chose one of two equally ignorant sides of a dual ended spectrum. Don’t fall for it! Search for the center ground of unconditional love and acceptance. You don’t need to take the forbidden fruit which divides everything into good or evil. Learn to see through the empty ritual, dogma, and tenets of organized religion and into the profound metaphorical and philosophical truths concerning human nature that higher religion has to offer. Like the wizard of oz behind a curtain, there is intelligence behind the world’s organized religions which has designed a system to create desire & motivation and get people moving. Just as motion in nature is the result of forces seeking equilibrium from a forced potential, so also have intelligent beings purposefully created human systems which are designed to get people moving. So for you individually, avoiding the excessive pain or pleasure inherent in the extremes in this spectrum is like standing in the eye of a tornado. If you step forward you will be sucked in from the left, if you step backward you will be sucked in from the right… but both imbalances lead to the same maelstrom. The only true peace exists by staying centered. This is the straight and narrow path which Jesus taught and the middle way of the Tao. As you read material critical of the Church, you will likely find yourself aligning with the collective mind of those groups in the same way that being raised in the church aligned you with the collective mind of the church. Principles of group consciousness are hidden in Christian liturgy and are a subtle aspect of reality that you need to be sensitive to (For example, think of the symbolism of eating the eucharist/sacrament and becoming ‘one’ with God, by eating ‘the body of christ’ which is the church). Understand that excessively hanging out on exmormon reddit or highly negative sites will likely fill you with negativity too. Whether you decide to stay active, semi-active or inactive, chose wisely the groups you align yourself with and find positive groups which have the maturity to investigate the untruths in the church, without becoming negative, pessimistic or destructive. Understand that the church’s teachings about the “Spirit”, though often distorted point to real aspects of human subconscious connection, and if you want to be happy you should align yourself with the “spirit” and writings of happy people.

Don’t ask yourself IF it’s true or false. Ask yourself how everything fits on the continuum of WHAT is true and WHAT is false. You must abandon the black and white mentality if you are to stay happy through a faith crisis. Asking IF one’s religion is true will always fill you with fear. It will steal your joy. Saying “I know my religion is true” is a question of faith. But so is saying “I know this or that is false”! Let go of your prideful need to know, and realize it comes from a place of wanting to feel in control. Detach yourself from that need and you will detach yourself from a lot of pain which accompanies the illusion of control. Can you imagine if your study of American history began in a polarize framework of having to believe it was either the one true country of God or “a false country”? Sadly that’s the situation many religions put their adherents in, but you don’t have to fall for it! Every decade American historians find new ways to look at old information and old teachings, some of which shows that American icons like George Washington or Thomas Jefferson were all too human and american actions were full of atrocity. But this information should enrich your view the human condition, not fill you with fear or animosity. You can come to accept the possibility that LDS Church is not all it makes itself out to be, while still utilizing it for all the good it has to offer!

5. Get a realistic view of the way God/reality works and transcend religion into real spirituality.

As I try to show in my “the only true church?” article, the church that headquarters tries to sell is not always realistic. But can you blame them? Church leaders operate from their own unique cultural perspective which developed in isolation (as all unique perspectives must). Doesn’t every religious, scientific and national perspective do the same? Everyone is human, all people and organizations have a spectrum of good and bad, selfishness and unselfishness. All of the issues in Mormonism come from a distorted view of reality. But that is what truth seeking is all about–growing our picture of reality and how reality works. Every group on earth holds a different perspective and different piece of the big puzzle of true reality. Don’t demonize them, but use their various ideas to grow and broaden your view. Each perspective is like a different facet of a thousand faced gem, or like a different peak on a huge mountain. Since people tend to be confined to the worldview of their own cultural boxes and since epistemology is largely consensus driven, a secular scientist should be grateful to a theist for adding a different perspective to the mix, as also a religionist should be grateful for secular science in doing the same. If we all work together, all will benefit with a larger view of truth in the end.

Real spirituality cannot be taught, just like true love cannot be taught. Intelligent minds know this, so they have devised cultural systems which encourage selflessness and an environment which fosters true spirituality. This is what D&C 84:18–27 is talking about when it says “in the ordinances thereof the power of godliness is manifest” and then goes on to talk about the differences between the ‘lower and higher’ priesthoods and the ‘mysteries’ that are withheld from the lower priesthood. The religious orthodoxy always ends up corrupting these systems and looking beyond the mark. But you don’t need to vilify human nature — work to reform it both in yourself, your culture and your religion. Realize there is a higher power which permeates and connects the universe. The universe IS intelligent and you are a part of that intelligence like an individual cell in the universal body of Creation. Look past the metaphors of religion to see your place in that organism. Learn how you fit into, harmonize and connect with that organism. This is the true spirituality that the culturally influenced ordinances and liturgy of religion attempt to teach.

6. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Become a Reformer!

If your exploration of church history and theology uncovers inconsistencies and obvious untruths, don’t just throw away your communion, your social support structure, your family traditions or your cultural heritage — instead become a reformer. Reformer’s tend to get burned at the stake by the blind masses, but without them people and organizations do not progress. Find loving ways to promote truth and fresh outlooks on old cultural traditions and doctrines. Don’t just fight the church, work to reform it. Realize that there is a psychological potential created by most religions; and you may find yourself tempted to release that potential by fighting against doctrine which you once saw as limiting or by abandoning church standards to seek what you once saw as taboo–but I suggest you try and stay centered and gently work for meaningful reform. But don’t be too worried if change is small and comes slowly, because it’s that polarized dichotomy between religion and its surrounding culture that makes possible the vibrant social dialogue and drama caused by this interplay. Realize that it may take a few years from the beginning of your faith crisis to gain the language and poise which allows you to talk calmly, fearlessly and constructively to true-blue religionists about areas in need of reform. Remember that using the language of the church, the scriptures of the church and the principles of the church are usually the best way to teach those who thoughtlessly follow the church without question. See the articles ‘Needed Reformation of the LDS Church- specific actions‘, and ‘Needed Reformation of the LDS Church- a rant‘.

7. Follow your heart and Give the Church time to change.

God/Creation speaks to everyone on earth through their mind and heart–or in other words through their logic or thoughts and emotions or feelings. The particulars of that communication are different and unique to everyone, but we must always let our spirituality be a product of our personal inspiration which is informed by, but not dictated by cultural or religious dogma. Church leaders are wise to stress that ‘personal revelation trumps ecclesiastical revelation every time’. This doctrine does not promote apostasy, but prevents it. When religious leaders gain too much control over the spirituality of the people, the resulting imbalance does not often end well. It’s like an unequal marriage, they sooner or later always lead to conflict if imbalanced.

Change does not come quickly to any large organization. Even in a democracy like the United States, each election begins with big promises which are often never fulfilled, simply because its hard to change the course of a big boat. The LDS Church has changed a lot since its inception, but except in the case of Joseph Smith it’s usually lagged behind changes in culture. Even though this might upset us when leaders feign to be ‘the mouthpieces of god’, it should not surprise us. The true God IS the natural law and as sure as plants respond to the rising sun, cultures will respond to the unsee impulses of the Creator & Cosmos. Sensitive adepts like Joseph Smith catch on early to these coming cultural shifts and run out ahead of the culture quickly creating cultural movements which advocate the progressive change (such as racial equality, gender equality, sexual revolution, socialism, etc). Conservative leaders like most modern church leaders tend to do the opposite, waiting until they are sure change is inevitable before they intitute organizational adaptations. We need not demonize either of these extremes, but we can decide which one we want to be. A progressive or a conservative, a reformer or part of the orthodoxy–I say love everyone and to each their own. Harmony is salvation in the ecosystem of righteousness.

Even if one doesn’t agree with the Church’s exclusive truth claims, we hopefully can all share a faith in the concept of Zion. Zion in LDS, Judaic & Christian scripture is a theoretical utopia or ‘perfect society’. Everyone may have different ideas on the particulars of how to create a utopia, but hopefully there are common motifs that we can all share faith in and work toward. That it is a place of love. A place of equality, a place where there is unity. I believe that this is the foundation of Christian and LDS scripture, and that western civilization’s faith in this concept has culturally given birth to one of the most prosperous and phenomenal political experiments in earth’s history. My faith and hope is that long after the failure of the United States of America and the social democracies of Europe, the principles of Zion taught in LDS and Christian scripture will live in the hearts of enough people, that the nations of tomorrow will be even greater than those of today. (Moses 7:18–19; D&C 97:21; 4 Nephi 1:1–20; 1 Chr. 11:5; Ps. 2:6; 99:2; 102:16; Isa. 1:27; 2:3; 4:3–5; 33:20; 52:1–8; 59:20; Jer. 3:14; 31:6; Joel 2; Amos 6:1; Obad. 1:17, 21; Heb. 12:22–24; Rev. 14:1–5; D&C 58:49–50; 62:4; 63:48; 72:13; 84:76; 104:47)

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Question and Answer

Question and Answer

Q: So is the church true?

A: That depends on what we mean by this statement. If we mean is the church without error, or is everything it makes itself out to be… then obviously not, because it would have to be infallible for that to be the case. But if we mean does the church have a lot of truth in it… then yes. I like to think this saying has essentially become an idiomatic expression in the church which to most people means ‘I have a testimony that the church is right for me’. See Is the LDS Church the Only True Church

Q: Was Joseph Smith a Prophet or Fraud?

A: This boils down to our definitions as well. Most evidence points to the idea that Joseph fervently believed his revelations and visions were from God. And the definition of a prophet is “one who utters divinely inspired revelations” (see dictionary for more). But to harmonize historical truths, one must understand the subjective nature of mystical experiences. There are many, many historical ‘prophets’ who wrote scripture and honestly believed to see visions of God, or Jesus, or Allah or Brahma. To categorize them as ‘true or false’ does not build our understanding of reality. Instead we need to come up with valid frameworks for understanding how they created such literary masterpieces and deeply convinced so many of the truth of what they saw. How does one account for the aspects of their works which seem far above their native abilities. see My Mystical Experiences for examples.

Q: Is the Book of Mormon True?

A: After years of study, I have come to find that arguments concerning the historicity of the Book of Mormon (like the Bible) are horribly unproductive. There’s a lot of good arguments for a supernatural origin, and there are equally impressive arguments for it being a product of Joseph Smith and his early 19th century cultural framework. I believe that a better question is where does any religious revelation come from? What makes these texts resonate so strongly with some people? Much like Judaic, Islamic, Hindu or Buddhist scripture it is an impressive work which seems to have an unusual psychological effect on many. Is there some subtle aspect of group consciousness that plays into ‘spiritual’ experiences with these works? Is there any truth to the ancient Hindu concept of an akashic record which mystics are able to access and gain information about people and cultures which are outside of their intellectual understanding? What is the source for the time enduring wisdom found in these texts? (See our revelatory text section for many examples of impressive channeled texts). I think a far better exercise for those questioning the truth of this book is to ask yourself… even if this is fiction what can I learn from it and what can it offer me? And how can I build a sense of culture and community from this book in the same way that other religious texts have done for large portions of humanity.

Q: If you don’t believe in the Church’s exclusive truth claims, should you stop going to church?

A: I say no way! Its funny how often I hated high school when I was young and forced to go. Now I often wish I could go back and take better advantage of the opportunity to meet and associate with so many great people! Church is about getting together and forming relationships. Its about learning to associate and compromise with a large group. It’s about getting practice in leading and following. It’s a great practice environment for the political process. I believe that western civilization’s religious affiliations are one of the reasons our governments are so much more successful than the struggling governments of africa and so many 3rd world countries. Its about stepping outside our comfort zones. Its about serving the youth and serving each other! But if you can’t make it a positive experience, perhaps trying a different church, charity or other social organization might be better for you.

Q: If you don’t believe in the Church’s exclusive truth claims, should you stop paying tithing?

A: This is a very personal decision regardless of belief in the church. If you use the building and other church funds, why not chip in to help pay for it? Many self help books speak of the psychological importance of giving a portion of your money to charity… it does something positive to the subconscious mind. If you don’t agree with what the church does with tithing money find other charities that you believe in to contribute to

Either way, you can have a testimony in charitable giving without having a testimony in the church’s exclusive truth claims.

Q: If you don’t believe in the Church’s exclusive truth claims, should you stop going the temple?

A: As explained in point #3, the temple ceremony is steeped in masonic mysticism. I think it teaches profound truths which are very logical and enlightened. If you find yourself not understanding or disliking the temple, I suggest you browse through morals and dogma by Robert Pike (a handbook of masonic ritual and teaching. see this summary). You may find it gives you a deeper more profound spirituality. If you are worried about answering the temple recommend questions when they seem to force you to see thing in black and white, perhaps this post on the recommend questions might help. A Thoughtful Response to the LDS Temple Recommend Questions