Unanswered question

Day 35

So I am really loving this Blackaby study. It is time consuming and uncomfortable, but it presses me to increase my faith and have an authentic love relationship with God. So it is all worth it.

In general I find the format of the Experiencing God Study enjoyable. There is plenty of reading broken up by questions he asks you to answer as well as scripture readings. At at the end of each lesson he asks three questions:

  • What was the most meaningful statement or scripture you read today?
  • Reword the statement or scripture into a prayer of response to God.
  • What does God want you to do in response to today’s lesson?

This is where the vast majority of our weekly prayers come from. (Yes I realize that I am behind on getting my prayers typed out)For the most part I am great with all of this. My answer to the “What does God want you to do in response to today’s lesson” question is usually pretty weak, but I appreciate it being there for those times I do feel convicted.

But there is one question that so far I have not appreciated. Not that it isn’t an exceltent question, but because I have never been able to find and answer for it. I think we have seen some variation of the following 4 or 5 times:

Take time to review some of your responses at the end of each day in units 1–7. Has God asked you to do something you have not done because you lacked faith? {} Yes {} No. If so, describe what you may need to do to demonstrate your faith in Him, His purposes, and His ways.

The question always centers around “Has God asked you to do something.” And you see, the thing is, on all of these questions I still get stuck on the “Has God asked you to do something” part. Blackaby pointed out that sometimes we, as Christians want to do something “for” God, as if He needed us to do things for Him. His position is that when God wants to do something, God will invite you to become involved with Him in His work. He does not need us to do anything for him from our own desires.

It may sound like I am splitting hairs here but it is a real struggle for me. You see, I am a dreamer… or more specifically, I am an idea guy. I have a lot of ideas. This is not constrained to my faith. This applies to every facet of my life.

Accordingly, I often find myself day-dreaming about things that I could do for God. I have this one idea that has been tickling the back of my mind for a while, but over the past couple months I have never found peace about it. It is a big idea and would be tough to pull off, but I think it could be done. But you see, I am already approaching it from a human perspective. Blackaby points out that Christians are quick to take on tasks that they are confident they can complete for God, but we are unlikely to take on an impossible task and trust that God is in control (Ex. Jericho, Mr. Carmel, Spiritual healing, etc.)

So I am left with no answers. Paralyzed. Asking God where I fit in and hoping that God will clarify for me anything he has asked me to do.

I guess the good news is that I will probably get asked a variation of the above question 4 more times through the remainder of the study. My prayer is that before this is all said and done, I might find an answer.

Aja and Landon Speights

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