Common Ground, USA

The Ancient Community of Tomorrow

In what was previously considered the uninhabited expanse between the gated communities of the two great political parties — the Socialist Heretics and the Intolerant Traitors — lies an ancient and magical land known to the locals as Common Ground. This secluded community is said to be filled with people who report being “productive” and who live with a nearly super-natural disposition called “general goodwill toward other people.”

Unlike the inhabitants of the S.H. and I.T. communities, the residents of Common Ground are not reduced to their most basic attributes and opinions and enjoy extravagant luxuries like Self Reflection and Nuanced Thought. Also, due to their innovations in waste management and cooperation, Common Ground is the only truly sustainable community in the Political Landscape.

The community is said to have been built long ago above large deposits of Reason, Humility, and Patience that have allowed the residents to cultivate an economy that “actually accomplishes something.” Here’s how one resident described it:

“Moving to Common Ground is the best decision I’ve ever made. I can honestly say that there is nothing quite like not completely wasting all of my time and energy.”

As mythical as this community may sound, there is now a way for normal people to leave their war-torn homes and gain admission to the Common Ground utopia. Thanks to recent advances in the field of Thousand Year Old Ideas, anyone can afford a new life in Common Ground. There are currently record-high vacancies and the homes are not expected to fill up anytime soon.

If you’re tired of constant conflict and never thinking before you speak, consider making Common Ground your new home!

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