Now Hiring
The interview for a job I was largely unqualified to fill
--
“Thank you for coming in today, Mrs. Brown. Let’s start with a few questions to learn a little bit more about you. First of all, what interested you in this position?”
“I would have to say that this position has really found me. More than a decade into my career I am a little intimidated to be starting over down this path, but I have always been one eager to tackle new challenges.”
“What do you feel makes you most qualified for this position?”
“A uterus.”
“That’s great. Any additional professional skills or strengths would you also like us to know about?”
“That’s a harder question to answer. I’d have to say all of my time in an office really hasn’t prepared me for this exact position. However, I have learned management and communications skills that have improved my ability to coordinate projects and proactively solve problems.”
“Could you share an example with me?”
“Well, I had a client who needed a communications plan built and executed for a product launch happening in less than six weeks from the start date of the project. Some considerations included a limited budget and high visibility among senior management circles within the company. With those in mind, I worked with my team to quickly develop a comprehensive launch plan that profiled the biggest strengths of the product that could most easily be promoted through a word-of-mouth campaign supported by targeted promotions on social media networks.”
“You do understand that every bit of that example is entirely irrelevant here, correct?”
(Sigh) “Yes.”
“And you also know that you will be working solo during a majority of your regular working hours, with one additional team member joining you for the overnight shift, right?”
“I’m glad that you mentioned that. I do have a question about the job description in terms of weekly hours. Just to clarify, I will work roughly 98 hours per week solo, with a team member for the rest of the 70 hours each week?”
“That’s correct.”
(Silence)
