Ban the junk drawer: You’d think giving people the privacy to play True Detective in your bathroom would be enough, but then they emerge and start “absentmindedly” opening and closing everything with a hinge.
How to Clean Your Home for Maximum Social Acceptability (and Minimal Effort)
Stephanie Georgopulos

Well, HELL, Stephanie Georgopulos, I’m screwed! I thought I was doing well to have pared down the random piles o’shit, leaning towers of stuff, and death-trap frippery collections of doom into a SINGLE. JUNK. DRAWER. Maybe I can just put a padlock on the freakin’ thing and call it good . . .