Step one in adopting in Texas: info session, pick an agency (wth is an agency!?)
Hey friends, by now you probably know that Benn and I are adopting a kiddo (if not, here’s a little backstory):
We promised to tell you everything. We vowed to highlight the process. We swore to keep you in the loop.
There is a lot of information online about adopting, but we found the actual process of adopting a child in Texas through CPS to be confusing. And I suspect that’s on purpose.
It all starts with an information session
If you think you want to foster or adopt in Texas, it all starts with an information session. You won’t know what the hell goes on there since the website is void of detail, so I’ll tell you.
First, you pick your area from the website.
Then, you go to the DFPS office and sign in to get a “VISITOR” sticker. You wait in the lobby with an interesting mix of people.
You have no idea yet that you’re mixed in with foster family and “kin” that is seeking to adopt. That was slightly disorienting to us, it might not be for other people.
You’re called in to a big meeting room (if you’re in Austin it’s decently sized anyhow). Ours had rows of rolling office chairs and there were roughly 60 people in our monthly session. We sat in the front row.
You watch a presentation about the process of children being removed from homes, you watch a moving video about fostering and adopting, and you try to hold your questions until the end because you realize you’re one of the only “straight adoption” couples (or people — singles adopt, too) in the room.
Then, at the end they say, “okay, it’s time to go meet agencies, and you can ask them all of your questions!”
Wut? Wth is an agency?
There had been no mention online of an agency. Isn’t that where you buy a baby from Asia? What does that cost? Why won’t DFPS answer any questions, rather point us to a cramped room of people with booths? We don’t even know what to ask.
We learned quickly that the first question to ask is “do you support families seeking only to adopt?” In most cases, the answer was “eww, no” and they try to hard sell you on fostering.
Sidenote: most don’t have the advantage of talking about it for a decade, but we know that we attach too quickly and fostering a child who is later adopted or sent back to their family would devastate us. That’s not necessarily normal. But it’s our normal.
You’ll find a booth with a friendly face that finally says “yes, we do adoptions.” Then, ask how their process is different.
You’ll learn that you don’t pay the agency and that their role is to get you trained, certified, and ultimately, matched. They work in tandem with CPS.
After much research, we chose Presbyterian Children’s Homes & Services (and the first thing their rep confirmed was that it’s cool if we’re not really religious — we are, but we’re super Catholic and that was fine).
Next up, what sucks about the process
In coming days, we’ll share with you what the training courses have been like, the paperwork, the questions, and ultimately the biggest surprises (and frankly, what has kind of pissed us off about the process).
If you have questions, are considering adoption, we’re not experts or anything, but we’re pretty far into the process and are happy to chat!
