In our daily life, we are constantly surrounded by external influences and other peoples thoughts. This is not only the case in social interactions, but also when we are supposedly alone.
This goes along with the definition of solitude by judge Raymond Kethledge and former US army officer Michael Erwin, who defined the expression in their book “Lead Yourself First” as a subjective state in which your mind is free from input of other minds. So it’s about what’s going on in your brain and not what’s happening in the environment around you.
So you can also experience solitude in a crowded subway. On the other hand, this is often not the case when you are alone, as books, television, or especially the smartphone “distract” you from your thoughts. This also brings us to another point of consuming content, as we are often reading articles one after another about various topics, e.g. on Medium, but don’t take our time to reflect on that and think about how we feel about it.
The importance of solitude has been studied for centuries and has been pointed out again and again.
For example, Blaise Pascal wrote that “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone” in the seventeenth century.
In everyday life we rarely take the time for conscious solitude. Especially with the smartphone revolution it has become much easier to constantly consume informations. No matter whether we are sitting on a bus or standing in a line — within seconds, the smartphone is ready to go. And we don’t resist the urge to take the phone out of the pocket. A 2015 study by Common Sense Media found that teenagers are consuming entertaintment media nine hours a day on average. This extensive exposure to other peoples thoughts leads to information overload and also harms the cognitive development, as the EU states in this study. Some studies also link this to an increase of depression and anxiety.
What to do about it?
I am thinking about the topic for quite a while now and found some ways for myself to actively create solitary moments.
- Taking long walks. This is especially good because you can also get some fresh air. I like this practice so much that I have integrated it into my daily morning routine.
- Leaving the phone at home. I don’t do that when I’m heading to work or something, but for shorter trips, for example buying something in the supermarket.
- Meditating. Pretty obvious advice these days when you want to be on your own, although I would recommend to do that additionally to other practices, because the idea of meditating is to let your thoughts go and not to continue thinking.
- An important phone feature I use for over a year now is to put in do not disturb and turn off notifactions 24/7 (especially important for social media and Whatsapp). This was such an improvement for my life that I recommend everyone to try it at least for a week.
For me, practicing these things also leads to an increase of happiness, as you are becoming a lot more self-aware in your time alone.
There are definitely some other practices and I’m very curious to hear what worked for you!
Suggested reading on this topic: “Digital Minimalism” by Cal Newport.
