I’m terrified of the day that I will no longer want to keep on going. I am frightened of that day that I will no longer want to exist. And it will not be because of philosophy. And it will not be because of “sadness“. It will be because of the overwhelming realisation that there is no true understanding and no empathy in this world. Even though we’re fully capable and equipped with these animalistic instincts. Even though we try. Still. We turn the other way, ignoring them. And when it all sinks in, there will be no other choice. I carried this since I can remember myself. And I have reached an age where I am able to see what the problem is.
It’s what you say, it’s what you do, it’s the inconsideration at the face of the intelligent. It’s because my whole life I was surrounded by the psychotic and by the paranoia that characterizes this society. And still I haven’t escaped it.
People say you cant escape your reality. “Η πόλις πάντα θα σ’ ακολουθεί”. But you’re missing the point. The thing I tried to explain over and over again since I was young, is that I’m not trying to escape my reality. I know it and I face it with courage. I just choose to remove myself from it,and try out an alternative. Because if I don’t, then it’s becoming very dangerous.
I was never afraid to open up. To let people know about what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling, even if they didn’t like it. I didn’t ever have a problem with that. The thing I had a problem with and still have is the incapability of people to understand the depths in which I can reach. The depths of what they really are, what they really think, what they really want to say. I don’t have special powers. And it sounds so funny when I say, that the only reason I have an insight, is only because I listen. Only because I observe. It’s true what they say. Ignorance is bliss. And I never wanted to be blissful. I wanted to be knowledgeable. Always. Whatever the cost. But what if the cost is your life? Would that be a problem? Could that change your approach? When you actually achieve the capability of changing perspectives and looking at life from the point of another person, of any person, then a lot of things change.
I haven’t decided yet.
Yet I seek for the truth. What is the truth? It’s the ability to see objectively the logical explanation in every situation (or the ones possible). Because no matter how you feel about the situation, it still is what it is. And if you see the situation from all perspectives, I’m not saying always, but usually what happens is you can see through and find the truth. It’s very interesting. You should try it if you haven’t yet. It’s comedic and terrifying. Wonderful. One of a kind. Τραγελαφική. Ζωή.