I walked into the dark bathroom and flipped on the light switch only to be assailed by a chorus of screams. Startled, I screamed too. I was immediately knocked down and trampled by multiple feet as Trevor and Gregory ran across me and out of the room, both of them still screaming.
I chased after them and found the two of them wedged inside the pantry, panting and whimpering. They screamed again when I wrenched open the door.
“What on earth are you two doing?” I demanded.
“Nothing!” they said together, trying to look like it was normal to hide in the pantry.
“Come on, tell the truth.”
They looked at each other and Gregory whimpered, “You tell her.”
“We were playing Cheesy Pizza”, said Trevor.
“Cheesy Pizza? What’s Cheesy Pizza?” I asked.
“You stand in front of a mirror in the dark and you say, ‘Cheesy Pizza’ over and over, and a pizza will appear,” Trevor explained.
“No,” I said. “That’s not right. It’s Bloody Mary. You stand in front of a mirror and say Bloody Mary, and she’s supposed to appear in the mirror.”
“That’s too scary,” said Gregory. “We decided we wanted a pizza instead”.
Trevor nodded. “But you interrupted us before we were done. Now we don’t know what will happen.”
“Yeah,” said Gregory. “Now we could be haunted!”
“What, by a pizza?” I asked.
“Maybe,” whispered Gregory, his eyes wide with fear. “It could have pineapple on it.”
“Pineapple is good on pizza,” I said.
“Noooo!” screamed Trevor, and the two knocked me down again as they rushed out of the pantry and galloped up the stairs.
Later that afternoon, as I was fixing dinner, Mike came in and snagged a kiss.
“Why are the guys hiding under our bed?” he asked.
“Are they still under there? They’ve been acting weird all day. They’re sure the house is haunted because they were playing Cheesy Pizza in the bathroom today.”
Mike looked thoughtful, then shook his head. “I really don’t even want to know what that means,” he said and grabbed a banana as he left the kitchen.
When I called everyone to dinner, there was no answer. Mike was probably wearing his headphones again, and I had no idea where Trevor and Gregory were hiding. Sighing, I went upstairs and started looking around. There was a scuffling noise in the linen closet, so I opened the door.
Gregory and Trevor screamed.
“Will you guys stop that!” I said.
“We thought you were a pizza,” said Trevor.
“Yeah,” said Gregory, “The cat was staring at an empty space on the wall for a long time. He could see something that we couldn’t see. So we hid under your bed.”
“Cat’s always do that,” I said.
“People think their houses are haunted, but their cats are just dumb. So, why are you in the closet now?”
“There’s cat barf under your bed,” said Trevor. “You need to clean it up.”
“No way,” I said. “That’s where I keep my barf collection.”
“Ewwww!” they said together.
“Anyway, it’s time for dinner,” I said, and shooed them out of the closet.
Bedtime was irritating. Both of them insisted we check inside the closets, under the bed, under the dresser and in all the drawers for pizza monsters. After that, they were both thirsty, both needed extra trips to the bathroom and then both had a fit when we tried to turn out the light.
Mike decided he had important work to do and left me to argue with Gregory and Trevor. I finally agreed to leave a lamp on, but only if they stayed in bed. They promised there was no way they were getting out of bed. I said goodnight and left them hiding under their blankets.
Mike and I were awakened just before sun-up by screaming and the sound of many feet galloping up the hallway. Mike groaned, “Now what?”
I got up and opened my door. “What is all the noise?” I demanded.
“The dolly! The dolly is haunted!” whined Gregory.
“What dolly?”
“The cat’s dolly. It’s in our room.” said Trevor. “It came in while we were sleeping,” he whispered in a spooky voice.
“You mean the cat dragged it in while you were sleeping,” I said.
“No, the door was closed when we got up. The cat couldn’t have dragged it in.”
I went down the hallway and into their room. Sure enough, there was the dolly, slumped in the middle of the floor. I picked it up and looked it over. It was dirty, smelly and the yarn had felted in places. I crocheted it a couple of years ago, intending to give it as a gift. Toby, our cat, fell in love with the dolly and started dragging it around the house and sleeping on it. I had decided to let him keep it.
I tossed the dolly over the half wall onto the stairway below and started on my morning routine, only to be interrupted by more screaming.
“It’s following us!” screamed Gregory. “The dolly is coming down the stairs!”
I sighed and rolled my eyes.
“Could you please do something about those two?” Mike asked. “I can’t concentrate on work if they’re going to be carrying on all day.”
“I’ll come up with something,” I said, and stomped off to the shower.
During my shower, I had come up with a plan. I searched the whole house trying to find the guys. This time I found them hiding in the coat closet. They screamed when I opened the door.
“Will you two stop screaming!” I said.
“We thought you were a…” started Gregory.
“I know, I know. Look, we’re going to fix this so you guys won’t be haunted anymore.”
“Can you do that?” asked Trevor.
“Yes. Yes I can,” I said. “Follow me.”
I took them back into my bathroom.
They were scared to go in and I had to do some shoving.
“Stop whimpering,” I said. “This is where you got into this mess and this is where we will get you back out of it.”
“Why is the haunted dolly in the sink?” whimpered Trevor.
“Because we need it to reverse the spell you guys cast on it.”
“How do we do that?” squeaked Gregory.
“Well, we have to do things backwards. We leave the light on this time and then instead of ‘Cheesy Pizza’, we say ‘Peezy Chitzza’. After that, I will wash the ghost right out of the dolly.”
I plugged the sink and put some soap in it while the guys watched. “Ok, are you ready?”
They nodded, looking scared.
“Peezy Chitzza, Peezy Chitzza,” I started chanting in a spooky voice. The guys joined in and I turned on the faucet, filling the sink with warm, soapy water.
“Keep going,” I said. “I’ll wash the ghost out now.”
I stirred the water and started squeezing and agitating the dolly. The water turned a nasty gray color.
“Good job guys!” I said. “Look, the ghost turned the water gray. Now I have to flush it down the pipes.”
I opened the drain and rinsed the water out of the sink. The dolly looked a little better too.
“So, is it gone?” asked Trevor.
“It’s gone. Now, no more ghost games you guys!”
“We won’t, trust us!” exclaimed Gregory, and the guys galloped out of the bathroom and ran outside to play.
