Why I’ll Never Be Flattered When People Say They ‘Love Black Men’
Jeremy Helligar

I am with you here. As a SWF, some guys hit on me with a similarly shallow approach. Some think that calling me “beautiful” has meaning. It’s very similar in that they expect me to take that as a compliment when they make no effort to get to know me. It’s obvious that they are writing one-liners to as many women as possible, hoping one will take the bait.

While it’s true I have in the past used equally shallow words, your post reminds me to focus on going past the surface. I don’t need a stranger to tell me I am beautiful any more than you need one to tell you they are attracted to your skin tone.

As a polyamorous person, OKCupid is my preferred dating app. The first paragraph of my profile states that I won’t respond to any messages that do not address me as a real person. That way, I feel comfortable ignoring any inquiries that are devoid of content. “I read your profile,” doesn’t count unless it is followed by actual substance.

Thanks for sharing your experience. Your voice can help increase authentic relating.

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