Religion as a philosophy or a spiritual universe. When discussing it, I find it helpful to identify which one you are referring to. If it’s philosophical, you’ll miss 99.99% of what it’s about. If it’s spiritual and philosophical, you gain 99.99%.
When I’m able to place my faith in God, which isn’t as often as I would like, I find even the most trying circumstances peaceful. My problem is that much too often, I try to handle everything myself. God gets me to a place where life is manageable and then I say “OK God, I’ve got it, I’ll take it form here”. And for a fashion, I do OK until I don’t. Even then I won’t turn to him. It usually takes a few concussions before I’ll finally turn back and ask for help. He almost never helps me the way I think he should. Rather he lets me see the situation through his eyes, which lets me gain perspective and control, which gives me peace.
Just to be clear, I struggle with my faith. Like you, I see things on an intellectual level. But in that struggle, I’ve found my greatest joy which surpasses anything I’ve experienced in my life.