I am tired

I am tired of justifying myself

I am tired of explaining myself

I am tired of helping you understand

I am tired of feeling like crap when you brush my struggle off as not real

I am tired of reasoning with you day in day out

I am tired of having to constantly defend myself

I am tired of your cruel remarks

I am tired of your oblivious advice I never asked for

I am tired of you belittling my fight to stay alive

I am tired

Mentally, physically, emotionally

I am tired of the ruthless stigma

I am tired of trying to explain why I cannot get up and go the moment you want me to

I am tired of breaking it down to you why I cannot plan

I am tired

Tired of this disease that consumes me… the whole of me… mind, body, soul

You see, it is never about mind only

See… a complete package deal… wearing me out physically too

Tired of dragging around a ton of physical symptoms and side effects

I am tired

Tired of it all

Tired of you and your blurred vision

I am tired of ignorance and stigma

For ignorance cuts deeper than that knife that tempts and seduces me often

I am tired of being weary and worn out… unable to move

I am tired of waking up every day to a struggle I did not choose

I am tired of fighting a war day in day out to stay alive

Take me as I am, flawed and real

Or be kind and simply walk away

Spare me the burden of more strain

I would not think less of you for leaving

Self portrait

© Lara Khatchikian Photography~

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