Las Vegas Golden Knights’ Line-up of Stars

With the expansion draft for the Las Vegas Golden Knights over, the speculation as to who will be picked is over and so is my fun. The speculation and mock drafts are the best part! I love mock drafts, they’re way better than the actual draft because they allow for discussion and debate. And in the spirit of mock drafts, I’ve decided to have another one for the Golden Knights but with a twist.

Now let’s have some fun with this team, and pick a starting five, a goalie and a coach for Las Vegas but comprised only of fictional hockey players. This is not just about skill; it’s about having the most fun team out there. Actual hockey skill is necessary but the degree of that skill does not matter, we want butts in those seats. Therefore to be eligible for this, the character must at some point in their movie or TV show have played some form of hockey, that’s it! In this world all of these players are real, we want that start power. This is about putting on a show, this is Vegas after all!

Forwards

Forward #1 — Charlie Conway(C) — The Mighty Ducks Franchise

This one was a no-brainer; Charlie is our captain, as well as the heart and soul of this team. He’s got that clutch gene that is so hard to come by and with that infamous triple deke he was too hard to pass on.

Forward #2 — Reggie Dunlop (A) — Slap Shot

We need experience, and Ned fills that role perfectly. As assistant captain to Charlie and as a former player/coach, he’ll be perfect to help solidify the locker room during tough moments and god knows this team will have many of those. Also Reggie is in his 50s, and who doesn’t want to see an old geezer attempting to regain his old glory or in his case any glory at all!

Forward #3 — Michael Scott — The Office

Have you seen Threat Level Midnight? If not, what are you still doing here (Season 7, Episode 17)?! In that episode, we find out Michael is low key okay at hockey. But that’s not why he’s on the team, it’s because he will be our Sean Avery surrogate, someone that pisses the other and his own team off. I can’t wait for him to just take every shot and for the eventual revolt that will happen when he tries to take the captaincy from Charlie.

Honourable Mentions for Forward

Jeff Hanson, Steve Hanson, Jack Hanson — SlapShot

These guys were hard to leave off, but it feels wrong to split them up. You either take the three as a whole, or not at all. Taking one from the group is like taking one of the three stooges away from the trio, it’s boring and unnatural!

Dean Youngblood — Youngblood

That name alone would sell jerseys, oh and he’s also a pretty good hockey player too.

Defencemen

Defencemen #1 — Doug Glatt (A) — Goon

Fights, we want fights. As one of the last bastions of sport that allows for violence, we will take full advantage of that. At least when we lose, we’ll still be able to give the fans some sort of excitement.

Defencemen #2 — Happy Gilmore — Happy Gilmore

With my second pick, I think you’re starting to get what I want in a defencemen, which are fights and more fights. Happy couldn’t make a team and had to resort to playing golf (I know, I feel bad for him too) , which did not ruin his intensity, ask Bob barker. And on this team he won’t need to skate well but we will need that intensity. All he has to do is take slap shots and fight. Yes the whole defense thing is not a part of the equation. Defense is boring; the fans want shots and fights!

Honourable Mention for Defencemen

Russ Tyler — Mighty Ducks Franchise

The knuckle puck, enough said. People from around the world would come to see that.

Goalie — Greg Goldberg — Mighty Ducks Franchise

The smart and best hockey choice would be Julie the Cat but this is not what this team is about, that’s why we’re going with the OG Goldberg. He’ll bring us sound bites like this:

Lester Averman: Here with us, Greg Goldberg, goaltender for Team USA. Greg, what’s it gonna take to beat these feisty Icelanders, tonight?
Goldberg: I think it will take a supreme individual effort, by me, Greg Goldberg.

How do you not love that? Some might point to the fact that Julie took his job in the third movie and to that I say, he was robbed and he didn’t have a coach that believed in him (Yeah I’m talking to you Ted Orion)

Coach — Herb Brooks — Miracle

This was probably the hardest choice I had to make. My heart says Coach Bombay but for the sake of not being a Ducks heavy group, I’m bringing on the master of pre-game speeches. Just listen to this, do I have to say anything more?

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