Reflecting on Roe: A Q&A with Elizabeth Estrada
Elizabeth Estrada, civic engagement manager for NLIRH, helps reflect on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the landmark Supreme Court case that solidified women’s right to abortion.
1) Why is the Roe v. Wade Anniversary important to you?
As a Mexican immigrant who arrived in the US at the age of 4 years old, I did not learn about Roe v. Wade until I was in my 20’s. The significance of Roe for me meant that I could point to a moment in U.S. history, where women were given legal right, on paper, to bodily autonomy. However, as a woman who was growing up in a working class household in Georgia, and without insurance, I knew that the local clinics, and in many states, are very conservative
The right to ‘choice’ on paper does not mean access to that right.
In my work with the National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health, we mark the anniversary of Roe as a significant win for women’s rights. However, we acknowledge that many women are still left without access to reproductive healthcare, due to policies like the Hyde amendment.
I look to history to tell the stories of women like Rosie Jiménez, who could not afford an abortion and since medicaid bars funds to pay for the procedure, she could not receive the care she deserved and subsequently died from obtaining an illegal abortion.
Rosie was a student, a mother, and someone just trying to make the best decision for herself, like the rest of us, and she was punished for not being able to afford healthcare. In rural parts of Texas, some cities only have one clinic that people depend on for all their care. In Mississippi, they have only one abortion clinic for the entire state! Roe marks a win for feminism and the reproductive rights movement, but we still have work to do to achieve full human rights for women in the United States.
2) Tell us your abortion story?
I had my first abortion when was 21. I was involved in a relationship with a man that I did not love, and when I became pregnant, he was not willing to help me pay for the abortion. I thought myself to be pretty knowledgable on reproductive health at my 21 years of age. I knew about pregnancy symptoms. I knew I had not been using condoms with my sexual partner and that I was not on birth control. Yet, when I became pregnant and started experiencing symptoms, I did not connect the dots. I thought to myself ‘there is no way,’ as I had been sexually active with this partner for four years. And we had been careful and successfully using the “pull-out” method a large part of the time. I went to my family doctor, explained my symptoms to him and he told me he thought I was pregnant and asked if I wanted a pregnancy test. At that moment I knew for certain, I was pregnant. I declined the test, as this doctor was our family doctor of many years and I didn’t want there to be any way that my parents would find out about the pregnancy. I always thought that if I was faced with having to make this decision that it would be easy. I was not ready. I could barely support myself with the small salary I made then and while living with my parents. It was not easy to make this decision. I’m crying as I think about it now. How different my life would be.
I am so glad I made the decision I made and have not one ounce of regret.
From the moment I decided, I started searching online for clinics. I landed on one that was closest to me — which wasn’t close at all, as I lived in a suburb of GA and this clinic was in downtown Atlanta, about 30 minutes away from where I lived and worked. I had to get two friends to accompany me, as the rules of the clinic didn’t allow me to be unaccompanied at all. I set the appointment and my friends went with me. The clinic didn’t have any signs or markers, barely any windows and a security guard out front. I had to provide my name and other identifying information for them to allow me access. Once in, the guard walked me to the waiting room where there were about 50 other women waiting for their appointments. I paid $535 for the procedure, which was over half of my bi-weekly salary at that time. When I paid, they then sent me to speak to their counselor, who stated I could speak to her again after the procedure if I wanted. Most of the clinic staff were cold and silent. The procedure took about 20 minutes in all and when I came to from the anesthesia, I began to cry. Every time I have told this story, I struggle to explain why I cried, but I think ultimately the decision is tough and brings out a lot of emotions. One emotion or sentiment that I have never felt though is regret. I couldn’t tell my family or friends about this — just the two that helped take me to the clinic — but since I lived at home with my parents at the time, I had to give my mom a reason for staying home from work that day. I ended up telling my mom, which is a story all on its own.
What I will say is, that when people share their abortion stories it makes room for so many others to feel seen and want to share their stories with you too. The shame and stigma that surround this normal and very safe medical procedure, has deep negative impact on people’s mental and emotional health. It took 5 years for me to open up about my story and it was only because I started working as a community health worker in the advocacy department of an actual abortion clinic. I shared my abortion story publicly with Advocates for Youth’s “1 in 3 campaign,” and I have shared with Huffington Post Live and several other public platforms. Through sharing my story, many people have told me about their abortion stories. I hear how women carry deep shame about their experience; women of faith who feel that they are being punished when they face a personal struggle with motherhood later on. People, even in the reproductive justice movement, who blame themselves for not being “more responsible”.
Since this experience 10 years have passed, I’m now 32. In April of last year, I had to have another abortion. This time the experience was so much easier for me, as I was insured through my employer. I now live in New York City, a far more progressive state, where there are no mandatory waiting periods, or forced vaginal ultrasounds. And my gynecologist is only a 15 minute subway ride from my office. I was able to tell my supervisor that I needed the day off to have the procedure done. However, I felt a new kind of stigma: the stigma that comes from not feeling bad about how ok I was with making this decision for myself. This was a new feeling for me. I remembered the women who shared their experiences with me and thought, “if I don’t speak openly about this with my colleagues and friends, then many other people may continue to struggle with this stigma and shame.”
3) What were the biggest barriers in you getting an abortion?
Speaking of barriers, stigma and shame was really one of the biggest barriers for me. Access of course was also huge. I lived far from the clinic location and I couldn’t really find any others. Due to this stigma surrounding abortion, clinics have to protect themselves and their patients against extreme anti-abortion terrorists. So, it’s really hard to find a clinic because they can’t just advertise in the local paper. And some gynecologists won’t perform them. I have read, that as a medical student, you can even opt out of learning how to perform an abortion. Not to mention religious hospitals who refuse to perform them at all. While I was able to comfortably pay for my second abortion, as it was covered through my insurance plan, many plans do not. For my first abortion money was a huge issue. I lived with my parents, so I had the privilege of not having to pay rent, but I spent over half my bi-weekly salary that month on my procedure.
4) Would you like to share anything with folks who have had abortions or are considering an abortion?
The most important thing I can say to a person who has either had an abortion or is faced with the decision of having to have one is: You did and are doing NOTHING wrong. It is our society that instills this shame on us. It is your human right to access the health care that you need and deserve. We are made and are making the best decisions we can for our own lives and we can stand firm in that decision. I support you now and always. I see you.
5) Do you have anything to say to politicians?
Women who have had abortions will not be bullied, shamed or punished for accessing our rights. We know that the majority of the US population believes that abortion should be legal and accessible.
I’m very proud to be working alongside fierce advocates in the reproductive justice and reproductive rights movements. Organizations like the National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health (NLIRH) make it their mission to assure that Latinxs and all people have access to safe and affordable reproductive services. I urge lawmakers to follow organizations like NLIRH that focus on the vast issues that affect their constituents. NLIRH is a proud partner of All* Above All, which unites organizations and individuals to build support for lifting the bans that deny abortion coverage. All* Above All advocates for the elimination of detrimental legislation, like the Hyde Amendment, which gets voted into law every year. They recently launched “We Will Be BOLD. We Won’t Be PUNISHED.” –which is a new effort to leverage our collective strength to push back against the Trump Administration and anti-choice majorities in Congress and state legislatures. This campaign speaks to me because I feel BOLD. I AM BOLD for having made a decision to have my abortions. I am BOLD for speaking out and sharing my abortion story with the world. And I am BOLD for being unapologetic about doing what is right for me, my body, and my future. And I surely will not be punished for doing what’s right for me.
So, I say to all politicians and lawmakers, know that we vote and we are watching and we will hold you accountable.
Elizabeth Estrada serves as the New York Field and Advocacy Manager at the National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health. Elizabeth engages in movement-building for reproductive justice, develops community leadership, & builds relationships with activists in New York City.
For more information on NLIRH, visit us at latinainstitute.org or on Facebook and Twitter @NLIRH.
The National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health is the only national reproductive justice organization dedicated to building Latina power to advance health, dignity, and justice for 28 million Latinas, their families and communities in the United States through leadership development, community mobilization, policy advocacy, and strategic communications.
