This Is The Real Me

Between who I’ve been throughout my life till now, I have finally had enough courage to become and embrace the person I was truly meant to be, without anything or anyone holding me back! Thank you!

Laura Annabelle

Published in

Mental Health Superheros

5 min readMay 24, 2016

“Now I found who I am. There’s no way to hold it in.” – Demi Lovato

Beginning Thoughts:

Alright, here goes nothing! No, absolutely everything. Everything I’ve ever hoped, dreamed of liven and being in my life. Throughout my life I’ve tried discovering and figuring out who I want to be and who I was. It was a lot of trial and error. Thinking that it was as easy as I thought it would be: to go out in the world and be who I want to be and do what I wanna to do hunch in result makes me happy, myself, confident and passionate in! But it wasn’t till the point where I am in my life now that I have come to realize: it wasn’t at all what I thought it would be to do something like that.

Letting the girl that wanted to merge into this body that I was given, and not be ashamed nor be convinced that it was a bad idea, wasn’t easy to do. Being who I’ve always dreamed of being and doing all that I had dreamed of doing with my life without letting what others think hold me back, has always been a huge struggle for me.

Who I Was:

I’ve been through a lot in my lifetime so far and it has expressed the kind of person I was at those times. Some were hard for me to get over, and others were hard for me to recover or even accept for any matter of fact. Now that I am where I am in my life at this moment, I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety. Plus taking care with my ADHD and my sensitivity.

I went to Conestoga College for the Office Administration: General program for one year. It didn’t go as I had hoped it would. I never expected to find myself depressed and all the others that I was dealing with at the time. I passed most of the courses except two. I’m not all that confident and happy with completing those two courses at night as I have a better career that I have great reasons and knowledge in that I would be great at: Mental Health Counsellor. It makes a lot of sense since I have suffered with a few mental illnesses in my life, and with all that I dealt with, and also in my recovery stages, I have learned and gained a lot from and can use it in that career path.

Why Isn’t Everyone Who They Truly Want To Be?

Why is this more true than it should be? Perhaps it’s all because we are afraid of getting hurt by what others think about that person. Because of that fear, we refuse to set her free and instead keep her hidden until the day we gain enough courage, strength, and confidence to become that person without letting that stop us in the process.

When I watched “This Is Me” by Demi Lovato, I thought that: it’s my time to shine. My time to go out there with a lot of courage, strength, guts and confidence and show the world who the real me is and what I am truly capable of when I set my mind to something. That and so much more!

Analyzing Who I Want To Be:

I don’t really know when I started having dreams of being the girl that I have been continuously wanted to be. But once it started, I found myself dreaming of doing, achieving, and overall living as the girl that I was too ashamed of being for all I had thought others would think about her.

But where I am now in my life, I feel like I can achieve a lot more with the dreams that I still want to achieve at this point. I’ve gained and lost hope in many different things like: going on dates, first kiss, first boyfriend (and everything that comes with being in a relationship), being free to be and do what I want to do without anything or anyone holding me back…

Some people like my own parents and younger sister are the only three people now (after loving myself for the first time) have held me back from becoming that person because they thought I should be this kind of person that succeeds with her education, chooses not to fail, be hard on herself. Yes, you read it perfectly clear: be hard on herself! That is not right at all. No matter what, being hard on yourself or anyone should never be the way to get change. Whether it’s change in someone’s life (or your own) or change in someone overall, it should not be the solution to demand change.

“You don’t demand change, you inspire it.” – Lying To Be Perfect

Now, let’s talk about the things that make up the person that I want to become and embrace. She’s confident, loveable, funny, fun to be around, happy, valuable and valued, inspiring, beautiful, passionate about the things she’s passionate and confident with.

How I’m Gonna Get There:

Well, it’s gonna take more guts, courage, strength, and planning. But overall in the end will all be worth it!

At the end point here I would like to create a scene where:

I felt something inside of me where destiny was telling me to follow. I then knew it was the right thing to do. It made me happy, allowed me to be who I wanted to be, overall achieving my true and real life passions and life purpose. What else is there to think about? Go for it! So that’s what I did. I wanted to become a role model, and so that’s what I became!

What are all the little steps to getting to this goal of mine? I don’t have them all figured out quite yet but I know that it will be amazing and all I have ever wanted to be and achieve!