Shit-faced Make Out

If I’ve learned anything in my 4 years of college is that the right amount of tequila can get 2 people, who would never look twice at each other in any other setting, heavily groping one another on the dance floor as they do the awkward neck twisting make out. Granted, the guy may not always end up going home with that girl but hey, you got to second base while rubbing your penis on a girls butt to the sounds of 50 cent’s Candy Shop. Now, I know a lot of you have witnessed your friend that looks like a thumb making out with some really hot girl and you ask yourself, why, why not me?

Its simple really, drunk hot girls will make out with basically anyone. Sometimes its as simple as being at the right place at the right time. By this I mean, hanging out with your bros playing bros on bros beer pong will get you no where. I really suck at beer pong, but have ended up making out with my beer pong partner for the sole reason that he won the game for us. The celebration victory hug can easily turn into the make out that can get you laid later.

Don’t be a douche. Time and time again I really ask myself why guys insist on constantly talking about their high protein diets and how much then can bench press… First of all, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE FUCKING SAYING. Second of all, I DON’T CARE. Third of all, If you look like you work out, I notice, and I wanna climb on top of you, that’s it.

I think the most important part about achieving the shit-faced make out… is not to be the first one in the room shit-faced. If you’re sloppier off of Green Apple Smirnoff before I am… that’s a problem. And you’ll end up asleep on a couch drooling as your boy, who looks like thumb, once again lands the hot girl.


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