This week I’ve had to ask a lot. Ask for help in looking after my daughter (oh the joy of summer childcare). Ask for guidance from someone a good 15 years younger than me on business strategy. Ask for help in promoting an upcoming Passion Collective event.
Asking is still hard. It still feels so vulnerable. My voice still says “maybe you can just do it yourself instead of putting that person out.” Or better yet “oh, it’s too late/early/too cold/too warm to ask them..”
We create excuses in lightening flash speed — so fast we don’t even realize we are doing it.
We tell ourselves we’re trying to be courteous to others. (Almost like we are managing THEIR schedules for them. Because clearly, we need more to do.)
We claim that no, really, we have it covered (have we hell.)
We figure that it’s only a quick car trip/a few hours where the kid will be on their iPad alone, listening to their mum on conference calls/a small business challenge. Then we push down the resentment or guilt when those things become big.
Really, we’re trying to pretend we can do it all. To others. To ourselves.
And more than anything we’re terrified of the “no.”
I am learning that often people are grateful to be asked.
People say thank you to you (instead of the other way around.)
It does the opposite of building resentment — it builds trust.
So ask yourself — what can I ask for today so that I can feel the way I want to feel?