Want to be More Empathetic? Avoid These 7 Responses

Showing empathy when people are struggling is extremely important. Here’s a guide on what to say and what to avoid.

Your best friend just dropped a bombshell on you. She revealed difficult news — maybe it’s that her husband is cheating on her or that her mother has a terminal illness.

She’s devastated.

And you are paralyzed.

Time stops for a brief moment as you frantically search for the right words to say. You want to be caring and helpful, but you don’t know how.

Ever been there?

I have.

It can be challenging to know what to do in these situations. You want to say the right thing. And yet, our well-meaning responses can sometimes backfire and make someone who is hurting feel much worse.

Why?

Because we don’t know how to show empathy.

I used to think I was good at showing empathy. That is, until my husband, Garth, and I faced cancer and infertility last year. It was through that experience that I learned a lot about what empathy looks like and what it doesn’t.