What it’s really like to live in Southern Italy

I’m an English girls who’s spent a year here and wanted to share some interesting, fun and curious things I’ve discovered about living in Italy and Italians themselves.

I’ve put it in a quick list please comment if you gave extra things to add and I will include them in my list!

Lunch is important — With lots of jobs have a long lunch break and shops shutting down between 1 and 5, lunch is often a big meal and a home-cooked family affair. It’s often at least two courses a primo piatto — first plate, consisting of some amazing pasta, my partner’s favourites being: Cream, sausage and porcini pasta, Pesto pasta with pancetta and mushroom, and scialatielli with seafood, followed by a main course which normally some meat and seasonal vegetables and sides. My partner is the one who most often cooks this meal as lunch, for me, is judt a sandwich and a piece of fruit!

Sunday lunches are even more important. There are often more seasonal courses, with food following the time of year and depending the nearest festival (Easter, Christmas etc.) which means the types of meats, pastas, vegetables and even deserts change a lot throughout the year. Sunday lunch is bigger and better and lasts much longer, all afternoon is pretty normal from what I can tell. If you have family or friends here, getting invited to a Sunday meal is a fantastic treat, but be prepared to walk away from the meal a stone heavier!

Food is important — It is discussed and eaten a lot. Everywhere I go, but it is great here so I understand why.

Food is good — and fattening!! Be careful when you move here you want to eat everything the pastries, pastas, pizza, gelato. Make sure you get some balance and do lots of exercise whenever possible. Even if you try everything you will put on weight on your first year trying everything so please try to accept this and enjoy the learning curve.

Italian mums are great cooks — A country built on family and food means Italian mums often have a huge role in people’s lives. I have accepted nothing I ever make will be as good as what my partners mother cooks, or in fact any of the other women in his family. Considering how much time and energy they put in it’s of no surprise they are so talented and gave great results. Unfortunately, for my partner, I am not one of these women who loves to cook, unless there is a glass of wine in my hand, or a new recipe I’m excited to try. However, I have asked his mum to put together a recipe book for me of her top dishes so I can learn some of her recipes and get better at cooking Italian style. It can’t hurt to learn a few things while I am here.

Kids finish school by 1 pm each day- I see them meandering home for their home cooked meals — better than the UK school dinners I am used to! They have homework to do and lots of it, and after school activities, but technically they have freedom too. The rest of the day exists to be used as they like: to be kids, study, be with family, or do sports or other activities. Pretty cool I think for their development.

People care less about what you do — Often people (at least in the south of Italy and in my personal experience) seem to work to live instead of living to work. Sure it’s important what you do, people study and work hard for a career, but often so that they can have a nice life with their families. My career is never one of the first things people ask me. In fact I don’t know what most people do for a living, if I do I find this information out much later, which was not my experience with people in the UK. Meeting new people there’s a kind of checklist: name, where you live and of course what you do. It’s kind of refreshing to not be defined by it. People care much more abut my attitude to life, my well being, my family and of course how I am finding living in Italy.

Family is important — Marriage and relationships and love are REALLY important (rather than inconvenient) to your life choices and career. They play a major role for many people here. People stay near family when possible and choose to be close for that support. Bosses often get to know the family of their employees so there’s less work/life divide and more respect given to people finishing on time and getting home to their families.

Everything takes longer — I used to be queen of multitasking and productivity. No more. The pace of life in general is slower, whether this is culture, climate or something else I don’t know but it is true and infectious! Everywhere you go people are talking and sharing stories, you stop and chat in the street to everyone you know plumber, barman, coffee shop owner and baker, everyone is your friend. People work at their own pace, in restaurants, banks, post offices, no matter the line behind you they will chat away and give you as much time as you need.

Efficiency and organisation seem to be much lower on the priority list, almost dirty words, i’ve never heard them spoken in my presence. It’s been very strange to witness what difference a cultures attitude to these things can make. If you’re at a meal you may be there all night, a coffee can take two hours!!

Added to this quite often people turn up when they turn up, not at the set agreed time, up to half an hour late is considered not late. I hated waiting, and still do a bit, I can’t help but see it as rude to waste another’s time, but I am learning this is not the intention its just how it is, and to be happy I must go with the flow. Italian sense of time is just rather different. My partner, thankfully, seems to be an exception to that rule or I might have killed him by now.

People are warm — from the government, to landlords, to shop attendants often going out of their way to help you our or give advice. I’m treated so kindly by everyone, even strangers. I’ve been offered umbrellas in the rain, free food and drink, italian lessons and welcomed into peoples houses I’ve met once. People from local shops will deliver things to your house, lots of personal youvhrs.

Also it took a while for me to pick up on but people aren’t looking for anything back from you. You don’t need to impress them or dazzle them with your job/career, humour, or even your company. You feel valuable for your presence, a gift of sharing nice time together, and not for what you bring. It’s rather relaxing once you get used to there being less expectations on you.

Thought there are some expectations — If for example it’s your birthday it’s only proper that you should buy/make a cake, prepare some nibbles or food and invite people over, if they bring you a present you get them one too. Hospitality is a little expected and if you don’t reciprocate it will probably be noticed. It’s more about the gesture than what you make it buy.

Most places have balconies and this makes hanging your washing rather nice as you can air dry it and not have it cluttering up your living spaces or have to use a dryer. I am so very and unexpectedly grateful for this. I also love having the opportunity to grow a little garden on my balcony, growing herbs and flowers. Walking around any town you can seeing families really using these outdoor spaces for all kinds of things. View of my beloved balcony below!

There are a lot of festivals — about some really random things. My favorite one so far takes place in a neighbouring town of Pagani, the festival is called ‘Madonna delle galline’ literally meaning Virgin Mary of the chickens. It happens once a year and celebrates the day a chicken uncovered a painting of the virgin Mary and child…..yeah it’s a weird thing. I still don’t fully understand it, but it is a really big and fun event where the whole town is transformed to a massive street festival and tge streets are lined with people doing a traditional dance of Tammuriata with its accompanying traditional music. I was taught the dance, or a simple version of it, from a local man and a friend. To add to the happy vibes there’s a lot of traditional food and great wine (just 1 Euro a bottle). In every street there are shrines with a statue or painting of the Madonna and live chickens to boot. A statue of the Madonna is taken around the streets with a live band, children are blessed by touching the figure’s clothing and money is collected from the public. The streets are packed, and everyone is dancing or eating, it’s crazy and awesome and needs to be experienced. Every town seems to have a saint and a festival and there are lots of fireworks and celebrations.

Religion — As mentioned above, they are deeply religious here, it’s the country with the Vatican inside it! In the South there are a lot of superstitions, myths and wise women who ‘know things’. they can tell the future, cure illnesses and know your past. It’s actually rather pagan in nature rather than what I have come to know as christian reflecting the past they have with the Roman gods and cults which shows its self in that they still create shrines in homes and on the street and worship paintings and statues of different saints.

There are fireworks (in the daytime people). There are certain months (all spring and summer) where fireworks can be heard from the morning until the evening celebrating every possible thing you can think of, birthdays, baptisms and weddings. They love them. It used to keep me up at night but now it is seemingly kinda normal and free viewings occur regularly from our balcony.

Wages — from what I can tell the average wage around 1,300 for a full-time job (8hrs) —plus extra money if your partner doesn’t work and for every kid you have. It’s not a lot, but its cheap to eat and go out, so it goes a fair way. I’m not hugely experienced in working life in Italy yet but will update as I find out more.

Coffee — coffee is important and drunk everywhere. Everyone has either a coffee machine or the traditional Napoletan Moka and it’s drunk all through the day. It is always drunk short and normally comes with sugar so ask for it without. Some places have started to make americanos too on request but not often. If you want a longer coffee go for a cappuccino, they are great!

Also if you are a local business you can ring them up and they will deliver a coffee to your shop. I get offered coffee in my estate agents, in the opticians even in clothes shops. This leads to you seeing lovely uniformed people running about the streets with trays of coffee.

You local bar or coffee shop is often much more — you can go to your local coffee shop and buy a train ticket, cigarettes, drink a cocktail or a coffee, grab a cornetto(or croissant as we know it) bet on horses or buy some milk, these places are great. I really like this compared to the corner shop I am used to. They have dedicated pharmacies, tobacconists, household wares and newsagents instead of the corner shop we have in the UK.

People do not speak English in the south of Italy — The younger generation do more and more, but it’s rare and the standard low due to many teachers not speaking good English themselves. It can be a real barrier and prevent you from fully enjoying your experience. The language is beautiful and romantic, even the graffiti, most often, is love poems and declarations to the one they love. I am still finding it hard to understand and have conversations after a year but things are improving.

Public transport is often late — it’s happened a lot to me. It can be inconvenient and confusing if you are not from here and used to it. It means I have to leave lots of time to get where I am going with little guarantee I will make it on time.

You pay to use motorways — the Autostrade, as they are called here, are often private and need to be paid for, so you’ll need to budget for that in your travels.

You can’t find what you had back home — I used to cook with a lot of Asian fusion cuisine and here I simply cannot find most of the ingredients so you may have to change what it is you eat and what products you use.

People like to talk — they will talk to you about your life at a train station, on the road, in a cafe, people like to talk often just for the sake of hearing their own voices sometimes - ha ha. It’s a nice part of the culture and helps you to feel part of something everywhere you go.

Medication costs more — A lot more, like 5–10 euros for paracetamol or ibuprofen. It was shocking for me at first to pay out so much for basic medicines, so now I get friends to bring some over for me. Prescriptions from the doctor can reduce prices of some of the medicines but not all. Also strange for me to experience is more doctors are homeopathic in nature, using more alternative therapies than medicines. And finally it’s not unusual for people to go private, to well known doctors and so they can get their results quicker.

New year and family celebrations are full of food — as well as fun and interesting discussion and dancing if you are lucky. My wonderful Italian family has shown me so many traditions of food and festivities, I am very grateful for them. I am also a little tipsy and always full to the point of having food coming out of my ears by the end. I’ve never eaten better in my life!

Christmas is all about fish — and mostly happens on Christmas eve, lots of seafood like prawns, squid, octopus, cod, and anchovies all cooked in various pastas, sauces, fried and baked. There’s also a day on the 6th of January for Santa Clauses wife, who is a witch call ‘Befana’ and on this day all kids are given sweets and small presents. It’s like a second Christmas day.

Carnevale instead of pancake day — a festival where children dress in fancy dress costumes and go to parties and there are parades and traditional sweets and pastries.

Balconies means baskets -I saw this in films or in photos, people put down baskets to collect food from a shop below sending down the money and bringing up the goods. It really happens here and I see it regularly! Brilliant!

Everyone loves ikea,like everyone I talk to, maybe it’s a global thing but people are obsessed here, it’s very strange…

You wear pajamas or home clothes and only get fully dressed when leaving the house — which also means you need house shoes or slippers. Initially this was weird and uncomfortable for me. I felt like a slob, especially if I hadn’t left my house that day . But now I feel much better about it, I visit friends and see them in their PJs too, there are some real benefits of being comfortable at home, also in the summer to not be sweaty in your outdoor clothes is just funtional.

Bidets — they exist in nearly every bathroom, weird at first if you are from the UK, but actually you get used to it. It’s actually a nice hygienic way of keeping clean, especially in hot summers.

Kids stay at home until they get married — families just see it as a given, why move out? Home cooked meals and everyone tries to get along and look after each other. Parents don’t want the kids to move out and maybe this is also a little to do with job opportunities for younger people. Once they have a good job and a partner often they move straight into a place and start their own family. Less people seem to live alone or in house shares.

People often build houses -now I don’t know how common this is but I’ve met A LOT of people who have done this here, at least compared to those I met in the UK. Means there are some lovely beautiful houses, we live in one of them! If they can afford it, they also build something taking into account their children's’ future for when they grown up so they will have somewhere to live with their partners and children. Wanting to stay so close to family is pretty normal here and not at all what I was used to growning up in London!

People give without a second thought — this could be food, time, advice and help. Everywhere I go this happens, it’s very refreshing and kind and I appreciate it.

Pizza — it’s different guys, it’s light and yummy and made of awesome ingredients. Plus you can pay as little as 3–4 euros for a huge pizza! I recommend visiting Sorbillo’s in Napoli, the home of the pizza for an authentic pizza experience.But I’ve tried a lot of pizza here and everyplace I have eaten at has been great and affordable.

People drink a lot less but a bit more often — wine with food is not uncommon — but unlike us in the UK, it’s normal for 3 people sharing not to finish the bottle and save it in the fridge for the next day. This has never happened to me in the UK, never, ha ha!

Driving is very different — and terrifying at first. Southern Italy is known for their crazy driving. After a while there is a sort of unwritten laws going on you can identify. I have yet to throw myself into the craziness of driving in the south, wish me luck for when I do!

This is the list I have built up so far. Hopefully you’ve learnt a few things about Italian life and culture that you may enjoy when you visit! Thank you for reading! Ciao for now!