Your heart knows the way, just listen

Somedays I have to get out of my head.

For many reasons.

Sometimes its just a horrible place to be other times its so i can get out of my own way.

I love my gift of analyticism. It helps me to do confidently so many things, to problems solve, to understand others, to create and imagine. But it comes with some shitty drawbacks too.

For example, when I am facing challenges that have yet to be resolved or when I am triggered with anxiety, my mind has a field day trying to work out root causes and how I am going to fix things, what’s important, where am I being influenced and by what. What should i do next to best live up to my life goals and ideals. Also my fascination with others behaviours is awesome…

…and exhausting and that part of me has got far too much dominance in my being.

There is more to me than my mind, there is my spirit, the emotional and the body me, that experiences the world through meaning and connections, that feels and perceives my world without judgement.

Of late my mind has become that rude person that just as you’re about to eat your slice of cake spills a smelly goo all over it!!

Brain: You should not be eating this you know how much calories we in that teaspoon? Plus we decided last week…
Me: thanks, totally ruined brain!

Or just when you get to that part of the movie, your full of emotion, where the lead character is about to die it will in its own way turn off the film.

Brain: you know this is just like that time when you were five and someone took your bike. It hurts in that kind of way. The scenery in this is substandard. I wonder how the actress felt when she… sorry were you feeling something important there?
Me: hey, don’t worry about it!

Your enjoying a beautiful view and he says

Brain; hey, nice view but this won’t last especially if you don’t sort out the finances. Wow how will you ever do that! You don’t even sisal the language!
Me: wow brain what a buzz kill!!

BTW — just realised I identify my mind as masculine, interesting…and there he goes again.

A rude interrupter of many a meaningful (positive or negative) moment. Particularly when I look in the mirror and feel good but then my brain pics on me.

The idea being my over reliance on the mind leaves little room for any other form of experience. It’s too strong and It creates imbalance. Bullies and dominates my other parts.

I want to be more balance and I want to rely on my heart a little more and to do this I am being more observant of the underlying motivations of why I am thinking and doing what I am doing.

Is it out of love, or is it out of fear.As someone very cool reminded me today those are often our two main motivators in life.

Quite often, for me, it’s out of fear.

That fear creates a whole set of interconnected behaviours and outcomes that create more frustration, panic and exhaustion. So I am going to practice exercising the heart muscle, to act more often with heart and receive with the heart. For me this involves embracing the love that is around me offered by my partner friends and family, I will allow myself to be guided and mentored by those I trust.

And I will strive for balance.

Lets go have an adventure within and experience myself differently.

Lots of love, Laura xx

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