How Personal Development Changed My Life

For over a year I was at a dark place in my life. I was unhappy with myself, my job, and my surroundings. I was confused and lost, and life was starting to feel like a burden. I became someone negative, pessimistic, and irritable. I no longer wanted to be a part of my own life, because not even I could stand myself -the person I had become. What was even harder to face, what the fact I was fully aware of whom I had become, amid of having everything I needed to be happy, grateful, and blessed. For that reason, I felt ungrateful and undeserving of life.

For that entire year and a half, I woke up every morning dreading my days, scrolling through social media, to see other’s lives seem so happy and fulfilled (though this is rarely true). I follow a few people on Instagram who post about personal development so the idea of it was always in the back of my mind. At that point in my life, I had not engaged in any “soul work”. I did not pray or hardly believed in a god. I did not meditate. I never sat down to count my blessings and be grateful for them. As things got worse day by day, I began to experience multiple breakdowns and panic attacks on a weekly basis. Things were not getting any better. It is true when they say sometimes you have to hit rock bottom in order to get back up.

I don’t want to get into the details of what happened the day that I finally had had enough of my own self-inflicted misery to realize that I needed to change. Let’s just say that after a long day of anxiety, distress, and pain for the first time in my life rage and anger saved the day. It took one year and a half for me to finally become angry and mad at the life I had been living for so long.

From that day forward I told myself I would refuse to be a part of it. And finally my journey to personal development began. I remember that on that same day, I went on YouTube and started to look for personal development channels. I googled books focused at improving personal growth, success, and happiness. I purchased 4 books and a manual about positive thinking. And from that day on, the self-inflicted misery became history.

Personal development –or I should say- motivational icons and writers such Jim Rhon, Ralph Waldo Emerson, John Maxwell, Jerry, and Esther Hicks, and most importantly the power of gratitude and the law of attraction have transformed my life into it the best place in the world to be in.

Here is what I have been doing since:

I wake up every single morning one hour earlier than I normally would have. I express my gratitude and my “I am’s” to the universe, and I listen to or read about personal development. Most days I take notes on what I read or hear, and I try to apply my learnings to my life.

What I have come to consider the two most important foundations to achieve human happiness –which are also the reason I work on myself every day- are:

1. YOU should always be your life’s main project (I learned this from Jim Rhon).
2. Only YOU have the power to make your life what you want it to be.

Hence, and in my opinion, the two best ways to sustain and nurture these foundations are:

1. Fully understanding that you are, attract, and become what you think about all day long (Money, and the law of attraction: learning to attract wealth, health, and happiness, 2008).
2. You have to accept your flaws. Rather than lecture yourself about them, acknowledge them. Use them to teach you about what you do not want, so that you can discover what you do want and how you want to be instead.

Rather than sharing a timeline of what I have learned, shared, and applied in the last months of my life regarding personal development, I will provide my personal reflection on what I consider the most significant and life changing lessons I have learned thus far. These lessons have helped me build upon and support my life’s foundation. If you are going through tough times, I hope this reflection can help you as well.

“You are the only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life.” -Les Brown

I think of spiritual freedom as the ability to allow your mind and body experience every natural aspect of life without lecturing yourself about it. As human beings, we have to allow our momentary emotions be just that- momentary. When we turn our thoughts into something greater than just a momentary thought, we begin to focus on these feelings permanently. Therefore, when we turn our negative thoughts, feelings, and disappointments into our constant thoughts, we begin to generate and release negative energy to the universe. In return, the universe gives us exactly what we offer to it: negative thoughts and experiences.

In the book “Money and the Law of Attraction” Jerry and Esther Hicks explain that thoughts are vibrations of energy (2008). The thoughts we create in our mind become vibrational frequencies that essentially attract things of like vibrations together (Money, and the law of attraction: learning to attract wealth, health, and happiness, 2008). This book goes deeper into explaining how just your thoughts can begin to attract the things that you want for yourself –money, health, and happiness. Many people do not believe in the Law of Attraction. But it is up to you to decide what to believe in and make choices that can potentially change your life.

Therefore, use the power of thought to own your days, and eventually your life. Choose to own your thoughts and actions. Decided for yourself how you want your daily life and your future to be like. Do not let your daily struggles and/or others decide for you. Understand that you have the power to pave your way through life, and that obstacles are put in our way to test our reaction. So be proactive and not reactive. The universe WILL manifest and replicate the vibrational energy that you give to it (Money, and the law of attraction: learning to attract wealth, health, and happiness, 2008).

One of the main things I have learned from my experience in self-growth is that one way or another everything is connected. Your mere morning expressions, thoughts, or feelings can determine your mood for the rest of your day. Hence the rest of your life. If you wake up feeling unhappy, stressed, and negative, your day will most likely continue to be this way. And the worst part is that it will affect all of you, holistically. Your job, your friendships, your interactions with others, your health, appearance, etc. So wake up every morning and tell yourself “I am capable, I am blessed, I am strong, I am smart, I am prosperous, I will have a great day today” (the list goes on and on- make it what you want it to be).

Also, wake up every morning and express gratitude for what you have and are yet to achieve. Gratitude immediately shifts your mind to a state of happiness, peace, and positivity. Always focus your mind on what you want and have. Not on what you don’t want or have, because you attract what you think of. Understand that you have the choice to create your days and your life, so create it deliberately!

When you are constantly engaged in such a positive vibrational energy, it is hard for anything to deflect it. Learn how to let go of everything that is negative. Don’t let disagreement or confrontation make you an angry or bitter person. The day you stop taking everything so personally, you begin to live a happier and fuller life. Take into account that other people too, are entitled to have a bad day. Don’t let their bad day affect you and your vibrational frequency.

I try to not let daily struggles disturb my positive vibrational frequencies. What I do instead, is take deep breaths and realize that this is only an experience. I then think of what I can learn from it. Finally, I let it go and move on. The minute I walk out of my classroom, all negative feelings generated during the day are worked on and forgotten. Remember: Never dwell on the past, focus on the present, and visualize the future.

All of the above can happen if you truly take the time to work on yourself, your mind, and your well-being. When you work on yourself, your mind, body, and soul become fully equipped to face any circumstances. From my personal experience, I can attest to this: the day I decided to make my life, health, and happiness my main priority, everything else has fallen into place. Things have slowly begun to work out for me: my job, my relationship, my friendships, and the way I view myself and others.

Additionally, the moment I began to work on myself I realized that I stopped comparing myself and life to others. This is because I have grown to be comfortable in my own skin, and I have developed a very deep sense of gratitude towards life, God, and the universe.

Ultimately, I have learned that in order to move forward in life and accomplish your goals you have to make decisions. In one of his personal development videos, Jim Rohn explains that in order to get somewhere, anywhere, we have to make decisions. Whatever it is, don’t go back and forth contemplating everything about it. Just make it! Doesn’t matter the outcome of it because whatever it turns out to be, you will learn and grow from it regardless. The mistake is not making one at all –it stops us from growing and succeeding.

If you are like me, you may struggle with making decisions because you are afraid of failure. In fact, failure was one of my biggest fears in life. After I began personal development I decided to work on the aspect of failure as well. In that process, I have learned it is only when you are faced with situations of adversity, when you learn and grow the most. Also, truly accepting and acknowledging your flaws allows you to be consciously aware of them and identify the most effective tools that can help you face and defeat them in the moments of battle.

I delved into the topic of failure with Maxwell’s book “Failing Forward.” He explains most successful people see failure as a step closer to getting to their goals. He says successful people fail often, but forward (Failing Forward: How To Make The Most Of Your Mistakes, 2000). Failing forward is essentially the ability use failure to your advantage: learn from it and let it go. Never take it personally because it is not. Failing at something does not mean you are a failure as a human. It simply means you have to improve at something you haven’t yet mastered. When we learn to see failures as experiences, they will guide us in a better direction to accomplishing our goals (Failing Forward: How To Make The Most Of Your Mistakes, 2000).

So if you want a change in your life, wake up, smile, and begin your plan to make it happen.

Laura Jaramillo

Works Cited:

Hicks, Esther, and Jerry Hicks. Money, and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Wealth, Health, and Happiness. Hay House, 2008.

Maxwell, John C. Failing Forward: How To Make The Most Of Your Mistakes. Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2000.

Meah, Asad. “50 Inspirational Les Brown Quotes.” AwakenTheGreatnessWithin, Asad Meah, 19 July 2016, awakenthegreatnesswithin.com/50-inspirational-les-brown-quotes./