Your secret super power.
Perhaps I’m going to tell you something that you already know (and it’s great if you do!) or something you never suspected you have as your superpower, but here it goes. One of your most powerful weapons is your vulnerability.
Simple, right? Not so much. I’ve met thousands people in my relatively short lifetime who were busy to put up the “cool” or “strong” mask on their face. People out of touch with themselves, their weaknesses, their fears, in other words — out of touch with their humanity.
The food analogy.
Look, if we all were strong 24/7 how different we would be from the machines, that very device you’re reading this from? A machine performs, it delivers results, it doesn’t feel pain, it doesn’t cry, it doesn’t question, it follows algorithms. And that’s what we are conditioned to be like. Have you at least once heard: “Don’t be a cry baby!”? I bet you did.
Being sad, being hurt, crying — is normal. If you have a food poisoning, you throw up right? So imagine something bad happened in your life and your body has processed it and now wants to expel it — but you hold it all in. Now go back to the food poisoning and imagine you’d do that with food. The thing is — you wouldn’t! You’d get rid of that nasty stuff as quick as possible.
I never connected with the person because they had a cool strong mask on. Hell, no! How ridiculous would that be? “Hey girl, the way you have that fake smile over your face make my heart skip a beat” or “Hey man, look the way you said “I’m sorry” when you didn’t mean it at all, made me feel awesome!”.
I’m not saying you have to tell everyone the shit you’re going through your life is — but just stop saying “All good!” when someone close to you asks you how you are. Share you struggles, because by sharing them, you might just teach someone how to avoid them — and that means that your struggles were meaningful. It added meaning to somebody else’s life journey.
Are you looking to be loved?
Recently I told some of my closest friends that I respect them for their professional and personal successes, but I love them for their vulnerability, for their humanity. We are so busy hiding that vulnerable part of ourselves, without realising that this is the part we are most loved for. That part of you, which you’re hiding most — has the potential to open the possibility of someone relating to you, someone loving you.
Who do you think is stronger going through life? A person shut in full body armour or the one that has a T-shirt covering their back? Who do you think is faster and able to duck when life throws punches? And who do you think might just fall over weighed down by the load they carry?
We are worried of being pitied, being looked down upon. But like I always say, people who would disown you for being vulnerable, are not the people you want to be with in the first place. People who say: “Thank you for being you”, instead — are.