What are your emotional habits?
Emotional obesity is another way of saying we have unhealthy emotional habits. Physical fitness occurs when we create healthy habits around food and exercise. Emotional fitness occurs when we have healthy habits around emotions.
What does it mean to have a healthy emotional habit?
An emotional habit begins with becoming aware of the noise in our heads — the endless chattering in our minds based in anger and fear. The voice that says we are not good enough, not worthy, or do not deserve.
Once aware, choices appear.
Without awareness, it is the equivalent to going to the gym to workout when gyms are hidden from view, the door is hard to find and the equipment does not have instructions. We could get the job done with a lot of effort, but it would be much easier if someone showed us.
Do you have a speech to give? Are you in a fight with someone you care about? Do you have to ask your boss for a raise or an unpleasant concern? Do you have to find a new job? Are you in a life phase with a lot of change: going to college, having kids, moving, kids leaving home, down sizing?
What are you saying to yourself? Do you experience self-doubt, fear of failure, fear of confrontation?
So what? Yes, you heard me, so what!
Emotional fitness is achieved when we can see these thoughts and not act on them. Part of being human is to have fear, but part of being human is that we can overcome the fear.
Create the awareness and then choose how to move forward with the voice of fear walking next to you.
Create a new story. I will fail and everyone will laugh when I give a speech. Or, I am here because people paid money to hear what I have to say. My boss will fire me for asking for a raise. Or, I have worked hard and I can only ask. He may say no, but there is no harm is expressing my view, if I do it calmly. We just have bad habits that need to be broken and replaced with healthier ones.
Garbage in garbage out. Repeating the negative story will result in negative feelings. Repeat a different story and get a different feeling. Deny the negative thinking of the ego, mind and speak from the heart or from a place of compassion, love or gratitude and emotional fitness begins. Different input creates a different output.
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