A Challenge

Most people experience difficulty during holidays and special times after a loved one dies. That has definitely been true for me. After Mom’s death, each special occasion has both happiness and sadness. My birthday, for example, was pretty hard. My dad bought me the perfect card, friends and family called, and I had lots of support, but it was still hard. It was the first year I did not get a card and a call from both Mom and Dad. Mom was never one for big hoopla, but she did work to find just the right card or gift for your birthday. She often bought me the thing I really needed but wouldn’t or couldn’t buy for myself.

Remembering my parents’ anniversary was also difficult. Their marriage was the strong foundation upon which our immediate family was built, as well as the foundation for Rob and I to start our own families. Mom and Dad celebrated their 40th anniversary in 2013.

The most difficult (and happiest!) event so far was Morgan’s baptism and birthday celebration in North Carolina. I guess I always pictured that Mom would be there to celebrate Morgan’s baptism and first birthday. As sad as it was, I very strongly heard Mom’s voice saying, “That child deserves to be celebrated. Don’t sit around and cry about me- Morgan deserves a happy day.” Well, we did a little crying, but we also had a very happy day.

Mom’s birthday is this Sunday, October 12th. The picture above is of Mom just after her 60th birthday. She and Dad were able to make a trip to Austin for one of Joe’s recitals, and we celebrated her birthday there. We had the necklace made for her birthday by my close friend Katherine. It has the birthstones of our entire family. I wear that necklace often now, and it brings me a lot of comfort.

I know my whole family is feeling sad as Mom’s birthday approaches. In true Debs fashion, I want to try to make a little happiness amidst the sadness. As we wrote in the piece read at Mom’s memorial service, Mom always got TONS of birthday cards. She kept a running count each year, and reported her triumphs to our family often. I would like to challenge my family and friends to remember Mom in a different way this year. Consider making even a small donation to her scholarship fund at Alamance Community College. Mom was so passionate about teaching, and this scholarship is designed to help students who share that passion.

You can mail a check to:

ALAMANCE COMMUNITY COLLEGE FOUNDATION INC
Post Office Box 8000
Graham, NC 27253

or make a donation online at http://www.accfoundation.com/content/. Just make sure to note that you want the donation to go to the Deborah Shearin Memorial Scholarship Fund.

I will make a donation because I learned from my Mom that when you are sad or frustrated about something, you can often make yourself feel even just a little bit better by doing something for others. She did this countless times during her illness by driving friends to appointments, sending cards, or calling people to check in. I will respond to my grief in the best way I know how- I will live by my Mom’s example.