Day 3 of the 3 Quotes for 3 Days Challenge
So many people will tell you in life to not burn any bridges and to always try to work things out. Well I am here to say “Fuck that”. Some bridges are not worth the cost of maintenance. They are soul destroyers. I will be honest , for a long time I tried to hold on to bridges that were turning to dust in my hands and one day I said “No More.” and you know what I did? I lit that bitch up myself. Burn bridges that do not serve you or your greater good, that are toxic to your heart and soul, and that do not show you the grace and kindness you are worthy of and deserve. When you burn that bridge it will feel so good. A weight will lift and you can look at it and think “Fire pretty…”
I am a firm believer that even if two people are on opposite poles of life or political views they can still be decent to each other. Just because someone is a liberal or a conservative or a libertarian or an independent or a jew or a muslim or a catholic does not mean that they are not good decent people with jobs and families and obligations. Kindness knows no boundaries. It knows no socio-economic class. It knows no skin color. Kindness is a state of being, a way of life, a code you honor with grace and dignity. A little kindness goes so much further than most people realize. And kindness also opens one up to other viewpoints and thoughts. You don’t have to agree with the other person but there is no reason to go all crazy Courtney Love on their ass either. Agree to disagree and then go get coffee together. You will be surprised at how very similar we humans really are when we stop spewing hatred at one another and start offering compassion.
It is my ever fervent hope that one day the shame and guilt will dissipate completely and my story will offer hope. I am working on it but I am not quite there yet. I am not a soldier or a veteran of any war yet I live with debilitating PTSD stemming from an attack where I was almost killed. Because of the trauma other ailments that I had managed to hide or function with for years became uncontrollable. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that rears it head in quirky ways ie I can not touch loose change to more severe bouts of looping , intrusive, scary thoughts, to my latest tick of locking and unlocking my doors ten times every night after my husband is asleep to getting stuck trying to wash something but one little spot will have me crazed for hours. I have anxiety and panic attacks almost daily. I suffer from agoraphobia and rarely leave my house or my “safe zone”. I self harm. I cut. I pull my hair out. I have nightmares every night.
How will this possibly ever inspire anyone? I am what one would call a hot mess. But over the last few months I rediscovered my passion for writing even though this is hard for me to do. I am working to put words on paper every day. To fight through my anxiety and OCD and other ailments and try to write again. Maybe one day I will tell the whole story. I am not there yet but maybe one day.