10 Benefits of Being a Pale* Chick

1. You don’t need sunlight because you already gloriously sparkle as BRIGHT as the sun! ‪#‎babyyoureafirework‬
2. People call you Porcelain Princess or Snow White. (or Vampire, but depending on which tweenage book series you’ve read, this could be a compliment!)
3. During nighttime, you will NOT get run over by a car or trampled by a pedestrian.
4. You rock darks and jewel tones (except for yellow/gold), which — lucky for you — are the best colors anyway.
5. Your skin is less likely to develop cancer or age as quickly. ‪#‎healthyisthenew50‬
6. You enjoy more time in the ocean while at the beach, and when you’re not gleefully frolicking in the water and dancing with the fishes (‪#‎splashtown‬), you can wrap yourself (tightly) in the comfiest jewel-tone towel. ‪#‎mmm‬
7. You can prank your little sister by turning off all the lights in the basement and pretending you’re a ghost. ‪#‎boootiful‬
8. You don’t need to wear foundation because if you did, CoverGirl would make one light enough to hide your gleaming skin color. ‪#‎coverWHAT‬
9. You get to save the money that you would otherwise spend on that foundation, tanning lotion, tanning oil (what IS that?), cancer boxes (aka “tanning beds” — so misleading), and other miscellaneous tanning paraphernalia.
10. And did I mention Snow White? There’s a Disney Princess (Brothers Grimm version just sounds less enticing) named for your skin, whose complexion a queen/witch was so jealous of, that she poisoned her with an apple! (Just be extra cautious of apples.) ‪#‎NOAppleaDaykeepsdeathAway‬