It’s funny

how good

someone like me

has gotten

at lying completely still for 8 hours straight.

So good,

it’s almost funny.

Well, not funny.

But still.

Because if you fidget too much in your sleeping bag,

someone might realize

you’re awake.

Someone might realize how apparent they are,

the dark monsters that come out at night to haunt


The ones that circle




until they swallow you up whole.

The ones your friends and your family and your acquaintances can’t see

at sleepovers, at home, in boys’ beds at night.

When your mind won’t stop racing,

splashing, crashing,

swirling around so fast that it almost sweeps you up completely.

But it doesn’t. And you don’t move.

So you just continue there, lying