Lauren Harkawik
Oct 3, 2019 · 1 min read

How beautifully put. It is incredibly precarious — and I love how you’ve dispelled why that is what makes ultimately making it work beautiful.

I met my husband in college and, while we were there, one of my professors started class one day with a soliloquy about the myth of soulmates. “You might think your boyfriend is your boyfriend because you were meant to be together,” she said, “but if you had gone to another college, you would have met someone else, and then you’d think they were your soulmate.” She was addressing a lecture hall (though I can’t pinpoint in my memory why this was a topic of discussion), but it felt like she was speaking directly to me and although I wanted to believe me and my then-boyfriend were “meant to be,” but I could never quite get her voice out of my head, and I could never shake the idea that had we each made a different choice, our paths wouldn’t have crossed, and someone else’s jacket would be flung over the chair next to where I’m sitting now.

I love how you’ve framed this concept here. “Meant to be” feels so celestial and preordained. Choosing regularly to stay together is active, constant, and lets us be the responsible parties. Which, as you note, we are.

Thanks again. I’m always a fan of your words, and really loved this piece in particular. And: happy anniversary.

Lauren Harkawik

Written by

Essayist, fiction writer + local reporter in VT. She/her.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade