I got 99 problems, and they’re all related to video

Written content > Videos

I totally agree with the things the people are saying in this funny forum thread: Anyone else hate videos instead of written articles? 

I really can’t stand videos (and podcasts), yet I feel forced by the marketing community to seriously consider making them myself in order to stay relevant in the future.

I’ve given the matter some serious thought, but to be honest, I still hate video (and podcasts) for numerous reasons, and turns out, I’m not the only one.

If your audience is: older people and/or smart/nerdy people (or anyone trying to learn something), then it’s likely they don’t want your freakin’ videos.

They want to learn how to do something, and the quickest way to learn something is not to watch something but to read something.

Here are all the other reasons I hate video — as a consumer and a marketer.

Why I hate videos, as a consumer

You can’t search a video.

Yes, you can search the transcripts (IF they’re provided), but even then, 99 percent of videos have shitty transcript formatting, making it difficult to digest/read.

Videos waste my time.

I couldn’t agree more with NintendDesert:

I can’t focus on videos.

The only videos I can SOMETIMES focus on are entertaining videos, like funny kids (Shout out to my girl, Katie Ryan), adorable baby pandas and motivational speeches (Think Steve Jobs’ commencement speech). Other than that, I can’t even remember the last video I even gave the time of day.

When I’m reading, I’m forced to pay attention, which means I’m actually absorbing something (usually) from that article, as opposed to just half-passively listening to a podcast in the background while attempting to work. I like to consume myself in whatever activity I’m doing at the time and give it my full attention.

I also can get lost in my own head when someone keeps talking for long periods of time, so I’ll have to restart the video from the beginning over and over if I want to grasp something new from a video.

Videos scare me.

Before I read an article, I quickly scan it over before: reading it, saving it to my Pocket or closing the browser tab. A quick five-second scan can pretty accurately tell me if a piece of content is worth my time now or in the future.

I’ve tried to force myself to watch videos on YouTube for a while, and the habit just won’t stick no matter how hard I try, I think because the fear of the unknown… I don’t know what I’m getting into because the transcripts are never formatted nicely, if they’re there at all.

I just don’t trust videos/podcasts.

With articles, I can quickly and efficiently tell if I’m about to waste my time upfront. Videos — it’s like how long is it until you know?!

Most intros take about 9,000 seconds, which are a total waste of time.

TLDR: Get to the point FAST. I want to know what I’m in for and whether this will be useful to my life VERY quickly.

You’re forced to listen to ads.

Another negative time suck that drives me cray.

I can’t really interact with videos.

I LOVE how I can use Highly and Medium to highlight articles, as I read them, and then can save them to my Pocket to refer back to, as needed.

How do I mark up a video?

I’m sure there might be some crazy startup fixing this problem, but I’m not into it.

Give me the text, format it nicely and cut out the filler words! You don’t need to say hi to me.

I don’t want to listen to any work-related activities when I’m on the go.

When I’m biking, I want to listen to some early Britney Spears and/or Drake, Adele or Demi because I want to take a break from work and plus, podcast-type stuff doesn’t get me excited to work out.

Also, like I mentioned earlier, I like to focus when I’m learning, and I can’t focus on learning when I’m on the go, unless I’m reading a quick article from my Pocket.

Most videos are fluffy.

I also feel like videos cover “fluffy” topics, because you can’t teach someone to do something with a podcast, simply because of their listening habits, and you need visual aids (screenshots, diagrams, etc) to show people how to do stuff.

(This is also why I think mobile learning apps are kind-of useless, unless you’re just learning definitions and theoretical stuff.)

A lot of videos are totally useless.

Videos are just repurposed content for the most part, which means A LOT of shitty blog posts have been turned into shitty videos just to try to “enhance their content” because video is the new thing. (Who started that sick rumor anyway?! Facebook — wonder why?! $$$)

Why I hate videos, as a marketer

It’s a freakin’ production.

  • Put makeup on.
  • Do hair.
  • Find appealing outfit.
  • Set up a gorgeous office ambience (or rent a mansion to pretend your rich).

I’m sorry, but that all sounds TERRIBLE to me, and like such a waste of time, but there is no way I’m recording videos of myself in a pony tail and gym clothes — my capsule wardrobe, if you will.

And I don’t care what you say, when there’s all these fluffy women actors posing as marketers, you’re expected to do yourself up for YouTube, just like women are expected to in the office as well:

A woman’s looks sometimes count more than her résumé. One study found that women with blond hair earn 7 percent more than brunettes. Women who wear makeup get better jobs and quicker promotions. Thin women outearn heavier women; white women who are overweight pay a financial penalty of a 12 percent drop in their wealth. Multiple studies have found that people of both genders who are more attractive than average earn more money than their less genetically gifted peers. But there too men have the edge: when researchers interviewed fourteen thousand people, they concluded that for women, grooming — hair, makeup, clothes — counts even more than looks when it comes to earnings. Source

Personally, I’m with this person:

And I know you didn’t wake up like this.

And it even requires more work on top of that.

Creating videos is time consuming when you don’t have a Gary Vee production crew, and it’s somewhere I don’t see a high enough potential ROI yet to waste my time trying it. Maybe I’ll kick myself later. Maybe I won’t.

Who actually likes videos and why?!

Serious questions:

  • Do you watch videos?
  • If so, what type?
  • If not, why not?
  • Do you think Facebook (wrongly) brainwashed marketers into believing videos were/are the next frontier?

That is all.