PSA: Women don’t want to be afraid anymore, and nor should they have to be.
It’s becoming all too common, isn’t it? A bright, talented young woman going about her life, murdered at the hands of a man who just couldn’t help himself. The more I hear about what happened to Aya Maasarwe in those final moments — which has happened to so many before her, the more I’m left feeling completely heartbroken. Not only heartbroken for Aya, her friends and family, but for women everywhere.
As a young woman, I genuinely do not want to be afraid of going places on my own anymore. At any time of the day or night.
I want to be vigilant, yes. But afraid? No thank you.
I want to feel safe AT ALL times. I want to be able to go for a run whenever I choose with BOTH my headphones in, instead of only one. I want to be able to walk through the park that I love without constantly looking over my shoulder, and I no longer want the slightest noise to make me jump when I’m on my own.
Why?
Because it is mine, and every other woman’s civil right to go about our lives as we choose, and do so safely without fear of being stalked, raped or killed.
It’s not too much to ask, is it? I’m sure Aya Maasarwe, Eurydice Dixon, Toyah Cordingley, Masa Vukotic, Stephanie Scott, Jill Meagher, and Anita Cobby all thought they were safe. They deserved to be anyway, but they weren’t.
We can continue to blame women for ‘being in the wrong place at the wrong time’, and we can continue to raise the question ‘why was she walking home on her own late at night?’ — but at the end of the day, women in Australia should be able to do these things. Of course we need to be vigilant and take care of ourselves, but surely a young woman should be safe enough to walk 50 metres from public transport to where she lives, or take the 15-minute walk home from her favourite bar after a night out with friends.
Evidently though, they’re not.
Now, this isn’t me throwing the blame at men. I’m very fortunate to have some wonderful, kind and loving men in my life, who I know if put in the situation, would step in and protect me and anyone else around them. I mean, at least I hope they would.
So, this isn’t about them. It’s not about the men who adore their mothers and sisters, who idolise their partners and their partner’s friends, or who would intervene at any moment if they saw a person in trouble. No, it’s not about them. It’s about the men who seek to cause harm, who have a blatant disregard for women of all ages, and who behave violently not only towards women, but to people in general that we need to be most aware of.
I could go on and on about this issue, but I feel as though my words mean nothing. Because at the end of the day, that’s all they are. They can’t make violent men curb their repugnant behaviour, they can’t make government bodies enforce tougher laws on offenders, and they can’t bring back the women we’ve already lost. But, I hope that what they can do is encourage people to talk. Have a conversation — with your friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, their friends, your family, friends of friends, anyone. Just talk. And when you’re talking, think about Aya Maasarwe, Masa Vukotic, Toyah Cordingley, Eurydice Dixon, Stephanie Scott, Anita Cobby, Jill Meagher and the countless innocent women who’ve lost their lives to violence.
Think about them. Because enough is enough.
Image credit: @curious_lauren
