Human beings are complex and also are very lone beings. I did not know this until recently.
5 months ago I found out that tomorrow was not promised to me. That life is shorter than what I expected it to be and that most of what I treasured the most was ephemeral.
2 years ago I went to college. What an exciting and scary experience at the same time.
But my college dreams got shattered as soon as the plane landed at the airport of my new city. With tears rolling on my cheeks I was looking at this hideous tinny airport and thinking of my loved ones I just left behind. Thanks God my mum escorted me but this didn’t last long because 4 days later she left me in this foreign country. All by myself, no friends, no family, no familiar languages everything was new and different.
I started getting into the society but to realise very soon that no one and nothing around me will ever let me feel like who I really am. Since then I started a phone centered life because there I could find people like me but also people that I actually love and enjoy talking to.
So my daily calls became like a daily meal, my best friends Saturdays group calls a great activity to look forward to and my boyfriend’s sunday morning calls became my weekly therapy. I would laugh and cry and feel like things never changed but reality would strike me real quick as soon as I hang up.
So as I mentioned earlier 5 months ago, I got a terrible news. For a 21 year old in college I lost all hopes for tomorrow. I lost all love for myself and the people around me. And things became worse cause none of my beloved callers ever realised that I was crying out for help. That I needed them then than I ever did before.
I learnt how to just live without them then the end of the school semester came. I went back home still battling my condition all alone and hoping to see the next morning.
Then 5 months now and I am still standing but not just standing but I am stronger.
I learnt some very important lessons.
- To cherish the people you meet when they are still around because time will come and they will leave for new horizons
- To love yourself because no one will ever understand your battles and you will have to fight alone
- But the most important to live for yourself
I started living my life like today was my last. I started wearing a smile no matter the pain or body weakness I could feel because I know I am destined to greatness.
I now know that whatever happens I am my number one fan, family or friend and that I have to stand strong for I am a gift to the society.
I actually know I am a fun person to be with because I can make myself happy and never feel lonely no matter what.
I now know that I have to live every moment as memory to remember.
Self-love is very important. It is the key to success and growth. Without it we are nothing. Today I am happy because I love who I am and if I am not to be here tomorrow today will have been special to me