(8)The Woman Inside, Lauren’s Journey, Introducing Ms. Lauren Miller

Today was a definite milestone in my life! I did something that fulfilled a long held childhood dream. A wish, a prayer, a strong desire that never went away, a dream from long ago that was never even remotely thought possible. I have always been very feminine, knowing from the age of four that I was supposed to be a girl. This knowledge has followed me through all the years of my life, and today what was considered an impossible dream became a reality. I am now, in the province of British Columbia, in Canada where I live, legally considered a female.

Just over a year ago my life almost stopped. I developed heart issues and required open heart surgery. I had been enduring the pressure cooker of increasing gender dysphoria for some time and the stress from that may well have caused the angina that brought me to the emergency room of the hospital. Although they tell me I almost died, the surgery was successful. It was during my recovery that I finally came face to face with reality, the truth of who I was and had been from birth, The knowledge I possessed from the tender age of four years old finally hit me hard and I had to accept the fact that I am, and always have been, a transgender woman.

Six months ago I announced I was transgender, this is commonly referred to as “coming out”. It was now time for Lauren to have her turn at experiencing life in the light and no longer hiding in the shadows. So I have transitioned and now live and work as a woman, a trans woman, named Lauren. It has been a very interesting and challenging time, like nothing I’ve ever experienced, with a roller coaster of emotions, changes, mentally and physically, and necessary adjustments and arrangements.

I recently moved and needed to have the address, personal ID photo and contact info updated on my medical and ID cards. I made an appointment to have the changes and updates done. On August 3 I arrived for my appointment, bringing all the required paperwork with me. My old cards had all the old information along with the old photos of someone who was definitely not Lauren! I handed them to her and she looked at me, I giggled, and told her there had been a few changes, and she laughed. A new photo was taken and she said it looked very nice, but what are we going to put in the gender box? The new ID photo is definitely that of a woman so putting an M just didn’t make any sense. I was given a form to fill out and, upon completion, a beautiful F was placed in the box. In the eyes of the country I live in, I am now legally considered a woman!

I’ve been asked many times now, “How does it feel?” It is incredible! Words fail me, I can’t really describe it. I honestly don’t think I have ever felt this kind of peace before. Each night now I have slept all through the night, just like the proverbial baby. I am reminded of what my cardiologist said, by coming out and by transitioning, I have added at least another ten years to my life.

I will leave you with that, until the next time, Ms. Lauren